Why Are My Ex’s Friends Contacting Me?(ANSWERED)

You recently received a text or call from one of your ex’s friends and you’re now wondering what their mission is. Could it be they’re nosing around? Or am I just overthinking?

While these circumstances could be the case, it is also pertinent that you find plausible reasons why they’re suddenly up in your case, to the extent of trying to catch up with you.

This uncertainty can be highly disturbing, to the extent that it can disrupt your mind, hence, the need for you to arrive at a definite resolution.

In this article, I’ll be discussing and providing you with answers to your question, as well as, trying to proffer tips on what you can do to salvage the circumstance. Keep reading to know more!

6 Reasons Why Your Ex’s Friends Are Contacting You

If we’re to consider why your ex’s friends are contacting you, that means we’re going to be looking at a lot of options. However, I will only be looking at 6 notable reasons or points. 

Just so you know; the reasons for their actions are either directly or indirectly related to your ex. Without further do, below are the 6 possible reasons why your ex’s friends are contacting you.

  • It shows that they’re just concerned about your well-being
  • It could be that they recently had a chat with your ex and you came into the picture
  • It might be their way of conveying information about you to your ex
  • It could even be that they have an interest in using you as a bait
  • Perhaps, they’re suddenly sympathetic toward you
  • It could portray how nosy they usually are

It Shows That They’re Just Concerned About Your Well-Being

A sincere feeling of concern could be one of the reasons why your ex’s friends contacted you. This is a plausible reason, especially if you were on good terms with this person in question.

Perhaps, he or she feels distant from you after the supposed break-up between you and your ex, who happens to also be their friend.

This point doesn’t speak in the terms of sympathy because I’ll also get to that. Instead, this point comes from the angle of sheer concern.

If you were extremely good with your ex even in the midst of their friends, to the extent they marked you as a good fit for their friend, there’s a high chance that they’ll try to still reach out to you even after the breakup. 

It Could Be That The Recently Had a Chat with Your Ex and You Came Into the Picture

If your ex recently had a chat with this friend that contacted you, it could explain why they even did it in the first place.

I know this because the person could confess to this while trying to hold a conversation with you. You can as well find out if this were to be their reason if you ask the person the question “how come I crossed your mind today?”.

The response would most likely be “we were having a conversation and, you’re name popped up. So, I’d thought I’d reach out”.

If this were to be the case, then you should know that the person has no genuine intention to check up on you. Or are they concerned about your well-being?

Rather, they just did it because they felt it was the right thing to do. They probably didn’t even have you in their mind until you came into the picture during their conversation with your ex. 

It Might Be Their Way of Conveying Information about You to Your Ex

This is another angle you can see it from when your ex’s friends start reaching out to you. If this were to be the case, you’ll hear them asking you if you’ve moved on, whether or not you’ve moved on from the breakup, etc.

This is usually the reason in most cases if you just broke up with your ex, and the person that tried contacting you is more like a loyalist to your ex and not a neutral body between you two. 

This person in question will also try to pry into what you’ve been up to lately…including your latest work, where you live, and the rest of the details you consider personal and reserved.

In events like this, there’s a possibility that they are agents of your ex, sent incognito to get information about how you’re doing.

After they’re done, they’ll likely revert to your ex to give him or her a rundown of all they gathered. You should be highly cautious of people like this because they consciously do not have your interest at heart.

It Could Even Be That They Have an Interest in Using You as a Bait

From what you may be thinking, your ex’s friend who recently contacted you could have their motives up their sleeve. It could be that they want to use you as bait to draw in your ex, or worse, make him or her jealous.

You’ll notice this point if the person suddenly became too nice towards you and even offered to start helping you out.

The person may even suggest dinner dates or random meetups with you. He or she could even double their quest to contact, as they’ll be frequent with reaching out to you either through phone call or text.

All these signs show that they have some sort of personal interest in you, perhaps as bait to make your ex jealous when he or she finds out you’re now seeing their friend.

Additionally, the person could even start a rage of heavy cancellation of your ex; condemning their acts and even criticizing them to your awe. If all of these signs are present, you should know what the person is up to.

Perhaps, they’re suddenly sympathetic toward You

If you parted ways with your ex in the ugliest of ways, his or her friends can try to reach out to you. What they’re simply doing is sympathize with you, mostly with no mixed feelings.

Their sympathy is born out of the fact that you were hurt unjustly by their friend, who is now your ex.

This act of theirs is neither laced with any personal intentions nor is the person going to criticize your ex. If the person contacts you then it’s going to be a one-time thing just to show their sympathy.

This particular reason is unique among ladies where they’ll try to feel for their friend’s boyfriend she dumps him. Guys do this too, but the gender distribution ratio on this falls on the ladies more than the guys.

It Could Portray How Nosy They Usually Are

Why Are My Ex’s Friends Contacting Me?

If you knew this friend of your ex as a nosy person, then this could be the reason why they contacted you. They’re simply looking for another topic to verbally feast on. This is also an attitude that is highly practiced by the ladies more than the guys. 

The talkative person will use their nice conversational skills to get information from you. The thing is, they’re not telling your ex, nor are they interested in hooking up with you.

They just want to be the most updated person when it comes to the latest gossip in town. To this type of person, always having a person’s story seems to be a hobby.

5 Things to do when your Ex’s Friends Are Contacting You

Having looked at the possible reasons why your ex’s friends are contacting you, you’re probably asking yourself what you should do next.

You’re now wondering the best way to approach the situation despite whatever could be the motive behind their act of contacting you. 

You don’t have to beat yourself up about what lines of action to take because I will be walking you through some of the things I would do if I were to be in the same situation.

I encourage you to apply these tips for positive results no matter the reason for the person’s action. Below are the 5 things to do when your ex’s friends are contacting you.

  • You should try to be accommodating and polite
  • You should be self-conscious
  • You have to detect the motive unique to the person as mentioned earlier on
  • You have to set out obvious boundaries
  • You should remain positive with them

You Should Try to Be Accommodating and Polite

Since the tone of your ex’s friend may sound creepy to you, you should try to maintain composure and be polite to the person.

Remember, you’re acting based on the possible reason spread across different circumstances and you’re yet to arrive at a definite one.

Due to that, you should endeavor to be accommodating to them, as it shows you hold no grievances against them.

Being accommodating can also help you to portray a positive attitude for them to see you hold no grudge or anger towards your ex.

If you fail at this, there could be a story flying around that you’re still hurt by the breakup, hence, making you appear vulnerable in the eyes of people.  

You Should Be Self Conscious

If I were to be in this situation, I would focus more on my growth and not pose significant attention to my ex’s friend who’s trying to push me into meaningless thinking.

Therefore, just like me, I would also advise you to take up the same way of thinking and approach.

This will help lessen how bulky and thoughtful it could push you when your ex’s friend contacts you.

Being self-conscious also helps you to stay in your lane and not sway from one side to another due to any information you may hear about your ex from the person who reached out to you.

You have to keep affirming to yourself these words: I AM SPECIAL, I AM GREAT, I AM FOCUSED. 

You Have to Have to Detect the Motive Unique to the Person as Mentioned Earlier On

While you try to become polite towards the person who reached out to you and maintains self-consciousness; you should also try to trace the pieces of the person’s speech tone to any of the reasons that we already marshaled out.

If you’re to achieve this, it means you now know what the person’s main motive is, and equally how you can tackle it if talking to them becomes a problem for you.

This particular action is important as it saves you the drama of either being too emotional or less concerned with whatever they tell you.

You Have to Set Out Obvious Boundaries

Why Are My Ex’s Friends Contacting Me?

Another crucial step you can take when your ex’s friends reach out to you after the breakup is to set boundaries.

This is especially needed if the person in question has a questionable character, or you no longer wish to have anything to do with anyone related to your ex.

The boundaries you’ll see will also ensure you do not run into an unforeseen sensual relationship with your ex’s friend out of emotional imbalance.

You Should Remain Positive with Them

This may be the last line of action in this list, but it is certainly not the last. There is still more you can do, but this one, in particular, summarizes the list I curated.

The essence of being positive is to rid you of any form of unwarranted emotional outburst. If you’re not able to hold yourself in one piece, you could find it hard to maintain a fine composure.

In that regard, I indulge you to stay as positive as you can. I’m sure you’ll get a favorable result if you act accordingly.


Breaking up with a loved one can be one of the hardest pains to experience. When you get contacted by one of your ex’s friends, you could find it suspicious, as it can relive the painful memories in you.

Amid this mixed feeling, you may be unsure of what exactly is the motive of their actions. In the course of this article, I’ve been able to establish and point out a couple of plausible reasons for their actions. 

Inclusively, I introduced to you functional things to do when your ex’s friends contact you. I’m hopeful this post will be helpful to you, hence, the comment section is available for your suggestions and questions.


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