What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

I know we often get a lot of tags and unorthodox names from people and we wonder what triggers this. In other cases, we wanted to get a full of the name calling and maybe just stop getting it.

Either way, the bottom line is that replying to certain gestures is one of how you can get relief from whatever vibe the name-calling is bringing to you.

In this post, I’ll be exploiting different responses when someone calls you a monkey. While this might look a lot racist, there are other ways to look at it, like it is a metaphor for a cool kid or a dumb person.

Nonetheless, if you’re looking for suitable replies that you can throw in when someone calls you a monkey, then you’re at the right place.

30 Things to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

Since there’s more meaning to being called a monkey than just a hate speech or racist term, we’ll be looking at the other angles where this term can be used on someone.

If you’re planning on switching up on the person that called you a monkey, you can say things like, “Don’t you have any other fond names?”, “You do sound racist now”, “You do know that’s pretty much offensive right?” or even say “Don’t mock my intelligence”.

You can bring the fun and comebacks to their doorstep by adding comments like, “So fast of you to recognize family”,  let’s meet in the woods”.

You can say, “Since we’re buddies, I guess we’re both monkeys then” or “Our family reunion is next week, don’t miss t for anything”, “Monkeys are good at recognizing each other”.

Alright, I believe that’s enough for a snippet, so let’s dive into the main deal with short notes on how and why you should use any of the replies.

You Do Sound Racist Now

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

You cannot argue that the “monkey” word has been severally flagged as a racist term and can incite violence if you use it in a hostile place or on a hostile person.

So, you can capitalize on that as your first response reaction, to reply to the person. But this is only when the context in which they used it says something about being racist, other than that, you should assume any of the other replies available here.

Don’t You Have Any Other Fond Names

Some people normally use the “you’re a monkey” phrase or line, to address a cute person usually a child. It is a sort of metaphorical expression of cute, nasty, or smart.

But if any of this sits right with you, you can opt for them instead of being called a monkey. You can use the line above to send your message across.

You Do Know that’s Pretty Much Offensive Right?

I don’t know what views you hold about being called “a monkey“, but I know that most people find it offensive.

No matter the context or circumstance it was used, it doesn’t just sound right to call another human a monkey.

If someone calls you that, kindly use this line to remind them that it is offensive and derogatory to some extent.

Don’t Mock My Intelligence

If you’ve seen how vibrant yet unintelligent monkeys are, then you’ll get a glimpse of what I’m trying to say.

A lot of people use the monkey word to metaphorically refer to a dummy because all monkeys want to do is eat bananas and jump around.

If you have a one-way routine in your life, someone can call you a monkey. But in counter speech, you can warn them off with this line.

Please Don’t Call Me That Again

Unlike pleading abruptly for the person to stop calling you a monkey, this line also has a fusion of seriousness and decisiveness.

Even if it sounds weak in your mouth, you can make it firm with your expression. You can bear a strong face and contrasted biceps when saying this, to express your deepest seriousness.

Monkeys Are Good at Recognizing Each Other

Now we’re over to the world of comebacks, which is inarguably my palace.

You can say something like, “Don’t you see, monkeys are good at recognizing each other” and watch the person either laugh it off as a joke or shut up because you just did damage to their name-calling career.

Please, when saying this make sure your face shows that you’re elated with it and grin mischievously. 

Since We’re Buddies, I Guess We’re Both Monkeys Then

You can also extend your mischievous grin and feigned elated face to this response, which is calling the person a monkey but this time, indirectly.

It is indirect because you used your relationship with the person as friends to also tag him or her as a monkey.

I Don’t Look Like a Monkey, so Stop

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

How about we categorically put an end to this menace which comes in the form of being called a monkey?

To do this, you need this line and it doesn’t look like a disappointing effect when you use it on anyone who calls you a monkey.

What Do You Mean by That?

I know you know quite that not everybody enjoys assuming things from the get-go, instead, they prefer being certain before making further decisions.

If you’re among this group, you might want to know exactly what a person met when they called you a monkey, before you shove down their throat a striking comeback. You can use this line for that.

Let’s Meet in the Woods

I didn’t grow up in Boston but I’m quite a sarcastic person.

So while you’re being labeled a monkey which is painful, you can extend the pain by telling the person to meet you in the woods, which is like saying indirectly that they are also a monkey.

So Fast of You to Recognize Family

We can go on and on with this thread of replies, but this one does something to the person who calls you a monkey.

First, it indirectly makes them a monkey, and it also puts them in a weird askance mode. They’ll have questions like “what family?”, in their mind and that’s when you know you’ve “got” them.

You’re So Broke That You Can’t Afford Bananas for a Monkey

I would say this is gross, but not that bad if the assignment is to serve premium comebacks to anyone who calls you a monkey. If that’s what you’re about, then I guess I did a great job here.

You’re saying that the person that called you a monkey can’t even afford to get you a banana which is a sign of bankruptcy. 

At Least I Move Faster Than You Slow Tortoise

Monkeys are fast and tortoise… you know the drill with them. You can use this unfamiliar comparison to set up a response that hits the right spot at the right time.

I’m convinced you’ll be having the best of moments when you say this to anyone who calls you a monkey.

Our Family Reunion Is Next Week, Don’t Miss it for Anything

The grand question in this response is “what are families for”? Families eat together, meet each other and discuss things together.

If you’re telling the person that called you a monkey, that there’s a family meeting coming up; It means that he or she is part of the family (a monkey too).

While this is a sly joke, it is a good response that can dissipate the person’s urge to continue calling you a monkey.

Monkeys Are Naturally Smart, Lot More Smarter Than You

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

We know monkeys are quite a smart collection of animals, even the Chinese Zodiac representation supports this claim.

If someone calls you a monkey, I take it they’re jealous of what you have going on or you. But you can reshape their mindset with this line because it is not only hard, it is striking too.

Do You Get Tips for Saying That?

Please, do try to ask this question to anyone who calls you a monkey. Because I cannot understand why you would choose “a monkey“, as the only term you can use on a human if you’re not getting paid for it. Set the records straight and use this line as a response.

Awwn, I Heard Monkeys Are Charming, so Am I

If you intend to extol your new status without feeling bad about it, you can use this line on the person. Since monkeys are charming, you are also charming and it will disgust the person.

I’m Sorry but I’m No Longer a Kid, You Can Stop Calling Me That

One of my neighbors would call her little girl a monkey, but this time, because the kid is cute and vibrant.

If someone finds you to have these two values or more, he or she can call you a monkey while referencing the term used on kids.

However, you can correct this notion with this reply which means you’re no longer a kid and shouldn’t be addressed as one.

Can We Skip to the Part Where You Tell Me Why You Called Me a Monkey?

It is only natural for anyone who calls you a monkey, to try saying something else nasty. Instead of watching as they distort your day, you can hush the person and throw this question at him or her. Why not anything else, why a monkey? 

What Happened to the No-Name-Calling Policy?

If you have a no-name-calling policy between you and the person that called you a monkey, you can use this line to reiterate that the rule still applies. You might get an apology from the person, as they just violated a rule.

If You Think I’m Dumb, That’s Your Problem

I earlier mentioned that some people call you a monkey because they think that you’re dumb. But the bottom line is, that’s their thought.

It is their problem with you and not the same with everyone else. Once you realize this, you don’t have any cause to get upset when someone calls you a monkey.

I Embrace My Origin with Full Chest

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

I fashioned this reply to meet the need of those who have been cajoled for their skin color.

If someone calls you a monkey because of how you look, throw them this line and leave the environment, because they infested it with haters.

Is That What Your Idle Mind Came Up With?

I believe the only set of people who delights in name-calling is idle and unruly.

A civilized and calculative person won’t rely on name calling to express how they feel about a particular thing about you, instead, they hold meaningful conversations with you.

If you want to tell the person who called you a monkey, how lame their mind is, use this line.

I Know You Might Be Teasing Me, but You Need to Stop That

Being called a monkey doesn’t sound cool, even for a tease. It is lame and doesn’t rock too. And this is more reason you need to tell anybody that calls you that to “stop” because it is not right.

What’s so funny About That?

Sadly, some people think that calling you a monkey is funny. It is not funny, at all. It is degrading and is a distortion of personality.

Ask the person this question as your response, if they have their set of teeth out in the sun while they call you a monkey.

If Other People’s Feelings Matter to You, We Won’t Be Having This Discussion

My understanding is that anyone who calls you a monkey with offensive intent is not worth having a conversation with. This is because that discussion is not but a mockery and shouldn’t even happen.

Do You Mind Acting Civilized? Because Clearly, You’re Not

Judging from what name-calling has done or is doing in the lives of many people, it is wise to say that it is uncivilized. Aside from its use in comedy, I don’t see it moderate to call someone names as a mockery.

There’s Not Much Difference Between Us

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

You can count on this line if you still want to make the person feel the pain of being called a monkey.

You say that since you’re a monkey, there’s no difference between you guys which also means that the person is also a monkey.

I’m Wondering How I Ended up with You Here

Name-calling is a common thing among toxic people. If you got called a monkey while you were with such a person, you can shade them off with this line. 

Being a Monkey Is Fair, but Being Better at What You Do as a Human Is Worse

This sounds like the ultimate comeback because it is deafening and very much more painful than being called a monkey.

I’m sure whoever you said this to, will cringe and probably let things slide because you just roasted them.


Before we call it an end, I would like to thank you for coming far with this post and enjoying every bit.

Remember to use any of these replies, only when you’re done examining the circumstance of the name calling. I’m sure you’ve got value, and I’d indulge you to share this post with anyone who needs to see this.

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