Why Does My Boyfriend Enjoy Winding Me Up?

Hardly any relationship goes on without getting annoyed by your partner, but we have to know what to do if you notice your boyfriend enjoys winding you up.

How do you tell them to stop? Is it okay for your boyfriend to declare love for you and still cause you grief by winding you up?

Why Does My Boyfriend Enjoy Winding Me Up

This sort of thing is common when you and your boyfriend have been dating for a significant amount of time together, he might annoy you for many reasons. Sometimes it may be a joke, but it raises a red flag when you notice he enjoys it.

Your boyfriend is also your friend, and he knows you enough to tell exactly what winds you up. You may see a pattern in this habit of his and discover that he winds you up for amusement. This can become irritating quickly, bringing negative energy which you dislike.

It is normal for your boyfriend to play around and try to wind you up occasionally, we all have our flaws as humans.

But if his winding you up sets your emotions on edge, I have highlighted ten reasons your boyfriend is acting this way.

You will why he does this and decide on the best course of action to take, understanding the dynamic that occurs in a relationship leads to growth.

10 Reasons Your Boyfriend Enjoys Winding You Up

Stuff like this doesn’t just happen without a valid reason. Your boyfriend’s actions may be a reaction or actions he is intentionally doing.

There is also a chance that he is oblivious of the fact that his actions are frustrating you. Below I have listed out reasons why this happens;

  1. He has lost feelings for you.
  2. Your boyfriend doesn’t communicate properly.
  3. He is dismissive of your feelings
  4. He uses it to deflect having a real conversation
  5. Your boyfriend doesn’t know his boundaries
  6. He doesn’t have a solid plan for both of you
  7. Your boyfriend wants to frustrate you
  8. Your boyfriend is not Mr. nice guy
  9. He finds you boring
  10. You are a very sensitive person

1. He has lost feelings for you

Your boyfriend would have made you feel special in the early days of your relationship. He would be all over you, making sure you never leave his sight.

If you notice he has reduced how much he talks to be around you, chances are he no longer feels for you and winds you up for this.

Your boyfriend has lost his feelings, he is reacting to this by frequently winding you up. Some reasons he lost his feelings for you may have nothing to do with you, so don’t go blaming yourself.

Your boyfriend may go through many stressful situations and emotional issues. Anxiety, OCD, Depression and so many other things may be the reason he is acting this way.

Love and care are the major reasons a relationship between two people works. If your boyfriend becomes insensitive to your feelings, this is because he doesn’t feel that way anymore.

Learn to recognize the signs and move on. Have a discussion telling him how his actions are causing your issue too. You have no reason to stay in a relationship where you are not loved and also that he is being wound up.

2. Your boyfriend doesn’t communicate properly

Why Does My Boyfriend Enjoy Winding Me Up

It’s a reason your boyfriend winds you up because he lacks adequate communication skills.

Most people have issues understanding other persons, your boyfriend doesn’t process how he feels properly so this leads to problems. He may feel attacked when you are trying to talk to him, so he lashes out.

Observe him and let him understand what you are trying to say. Women are usually better at processing emotions than men, and your boyfriend is just a bad communicator.

By carefully telling him how his actions are adversely affecting you, he would change and be eager to right his wrongs. Relationships usually take time to build, more often than not patience is key in understanding human co-habitation.

I know it can frustrate you when you are being wound up by your boyfriend. This reason may be the reason your boyfriend is acting out of sorts.

Define the things he does and state it out in plain terms, he should work towards making you happy and not getting your knots twisted up.

Emotions are raw so ensure you are stable and well before having a conversation with your partner.

3. He is dismissive of your feelings

Why Does My Boyfriend Enjoy Winding Me Up

When your boyfriend enjoys winding you up, it is often because he doesn’t care about how you feel. He may have shown signs of missing date nights and shutting you out of serious conversations.

He may do this intentionally and out to spite you. He wants to get you mad and when you react he shrugs your feelings off. It can frustrate handling such behavior, you will be angry and feel vulnerable emotionally.

When your boyfriend is fond of wounding you up, he dismisses your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. It makes you feel you don’t exist and don’t matter which isn’t ideal in a healthy relationship.

He does this through simple gestures, refusing to answer questions, and using his phone when you talk to him among others.

Never blame yourself for such behavior, rather cross-examine your relationship and navigate through making it work.

4. He uses it to deflect having a real conversation

Many folks have habits that are rude and unhealthy, and your boyfriend is not an exception. He is reluctant about having a real conversation with you so he winds you up to achieve this.

This may come as a surprise to you, but understand that they are many reasons why he will do this.

Your boyfriend is immature and cannot handle an adult conversation. Many men are stressed by adulating so they use childish antics to get out of having talks.

For you to have any semblance of normalcy find a comfortable and serene environment to have a discussion.

Let him understand you desire a mature relationship with him where you can both be honest about your feelings.

5. Your boyfriend doesn’t know his boundaries

Establishing boundaries is important in a relationship, your boyfriend should know the limits to which fun becomes ridicule.

If your boyfriend enjoys winding you up, chances are he doesn’t understand what boundaries are.

It can become irritating when your boyfriend doesn’t understand boundaries, this will have him invading your personal space and disturbing any sense of normalcy you hope to achieve.

Signs to watch out for include; he feels he is always right; he is rude to you, critics often, doesn’t respect your privacy or space, and wants to control you always. Other signs exist but these are commonly obvious.

An early signing out of such a relationship would save both parties a lot of time wasted time If he is incapable of change.

6. He doesn’t have a solid plan for you both.

If your boyfriend enjoys winding you up, this is a sign he lacks ambition and your relationship with him is going nowhere fast.

He spends his time engaging in unnecessary action with you instead doing positive things that are beneficial for you both.

When a guy doesn’t have a solid strategy for your relationship, it gives you a directionless vibe. This is annoying as a lack of foresight doesn’t do well for the confidence you will have in your boyfriend.

Planning for you both shows that he cares for you, but when this is replaced by him winding you up, and enjoying it. It means that he has no basic plan for all of you.

Every relationship needs to move to a level when the time is right, understand that he may not be ready. Have a sit-down and discuss if he has a time frame before things change, also tell him about how he makes you feel.

7. Your boyfriend wants to frustrate you

Why Does My Boyfriend Enjoy Winding Me Up

A clear sign of someone intentionally frustrating you is to enjoy causing you grief. He will act and behave in a manner that he knows will annoy you and doesn’t meet up to any deadline you both have.

Anger is mixed with such emotions and it’s a catalyst for explosive outbursts.

Your boyfriend does not respect your feelings that why he enjoys winding you up. Once you feel you are mistreated, inform your boyfriend about his treatment of your feelings.

Emotions of anger when not kept in check can lead to unforeseen circumstances. Your happiness is important as well as your sanity, don’t trade it for anything. He could frustrate you and not know his projecting his uncertainty on you. a

8. Your boyfriend is not Mr. Nice guy

This simply means that your boyfriend is a bad person. He has been pretending before he met you, wooing and sweeping you off your feet. Now his ready to show you his true colors, so he winds you up and enjoys watching your reaction.

Sad as it may sound this happens more often than you think, his other qualities may have blinded you to this flaw. Over time, this constant disturbance from him would become obvious to you. Your boyfriend would feel distant.

Your relationship with your boyfriend becomes tested so take charge by leaving. Such an individual who uses manipulative tactics to gain your trust is not worth your time.

They may have many reasons for doing this, and this is not enough to cause you pain.

9. He finds you boring

Why Does My Boyfriend Enjoy Winding Me Up

The beginning of relationships is usually candy-filled and butterfly feelings. Your man was always ready to have you, and always courteous and well-mannered. He does things the right way and never leaves the toilet seat open.

Now months later, he feels too comfortable with you, and he’s making things worse by winding you up and getting a kick out of it.

Familiarity can sometimes bring out another side of him you aren’t aware of. His lackadaisical attitude stems from the fact that things have become slow and boring to him.

The urge to make things exciting drives him to become unruly in his behavior. By winding you up, you become agitated, and this leads to fighting and quarreling. This sounds like fun to him because he enjoys taunting you.

This character can be dealt with amicably, you have understood where this behavior comes from, so it’s only natural to act accordingly. Spice things up and add some measure of spontaneity to your relationship.

Let him know that to see the best version of you, he needs to work with you and not against you.

10. You are a very sensitive person

Have you considered maybe your boyfriend isn’t winding you up, but you are just an overly sensitive person? If you are easily triggered any little thing you do will irritate you.

Chances are your boyfriend is just trying to have fun, and joke with you. So take a self-assessment and decide if you are just too sensitive to his jokes.

You are an Empath and can be overwhelmed by the emotions of those surrounding you.

If you are highly sensitive, then you ensure you consider how he feels too.


If you are tempted to leave your relationship because of such actions from your boyfriend, know that it is perfectly normal.

Don’t allow yourself to get comfortable with abuse in any form. You can also save your relationship by applying a few practical steps.

You need to take stock of how this behavior of your boyfriend affects your present relationship. You cannot continue to deal with his actions so you should ensure you find a solution that works.

You should discuss with your boyfriend healthily and respectably, appealing to his strong suit and sense of judgment. Check out triggers that cause him to act this way and try to avoid them.

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