Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Go to Church: Is It Okay?

Love is boundless, but when the boundary is built around the limitation and differences of organized belief systems, the road ahead feels unsafe.

Funnily enough, you can still have more than a handful of people who championed religious differences with love and are still moving on with their lives.

In the long run, the question is seldom the possibility that the two partners of different religions will date.

But the question centers on the morality of the act as per the rules imbibed in their religious texts and doctrines.

Because of this, you may ask if it is okay to date someone who doesn’t go to church, having yourself as a staunch Christian.

In this post, I’ll be discussing this subject in detail and I indulge you to read till the end to know more than you already know.

Is It Okay to Date Someone Who Doesn’t Go to Church?

Yes, it is okay as there’s nothing wrong with dating someone who doesn’t go to church. As against the popular belief that dating a non-believer is a sin, there’s no barrier to how far genuine love can go.

The love between people can juggle through the barriers of religion even when there is an amount of opposing theories.

However, there’s a condition to this. If you must date someone who doesn’t go to church, it should be a person who doesn’t condemn openly or secretly your own religious belief.

It shouldn’t also be someone who makes effort to turn you away from the Lord. Just as dating is a mutual relationship, you should look out for signs that imply that your partner is parasitic, as this can impede your devotion to God.

If your partner matches these requirements, then dating someone who doesn’t go to church is not a big deal after all.

Does Religion Matter in a Relationship?

Yes, at some point, religion matters. Don’t be baffled because it is expected that religion has a big say and influence in a relationship.

I can vividly remember losing a relationship because our belief systems didn’t align. I tried to make it work but it was long over before I even attempted to save the bond.

The place of religion in a relationship is almost the same as a person’s diet and as such, it is important in a relationship. This is because the person needs physical food to grow and also needs spiritual food (the word of God) to keep living.

Imagine dating someone who can’t prepare your favorite food or doesn’t like it either. No matter how much you love the person you’ll feel frustrated at some point.

This same feeling of disgust can arise in a relationship if the religious background of both partners involved differs. So yes, religion matters in a relationship.

But even at that, it is not enough of a barrier to stop the rave of love. No doubt, it can pose a big threat to the relationship but if the partners learn to manage the dangers of separation and stay locked down in love they’ll surely work out.

Why Going to Church Is Necessary?

If you have doubts about why going to church is important, I believe this section of this post is specially made for you.

What then is the importance of going to church? Why is it almost over-emphasized, especially in staunch Christian homes?

These questions and more arise when uncertainties of faith set in. However, I’ll be explaining in detail why going to church is necessary. These are my reasons.

  • It affords you the gift and joy of fellowship
  • It allows you to serve God among men
  • It gives you a chance to hear how others view the gospel
  • It is important as you can listen to uplifting messages
  • It keeps you in sync with the divine spirit
  • It is your escape from the daily trials of life

It Affords You the Gift and Joy of Fellowship

Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Go to Church

The joy which you get and bask in when you go to church usually comes from a place of fellowship.

There’s this gift of belonging and oneness that is present when you go to church and it is given in the spirit of fellowship.

You even get the chance to network with people in the church and get to know more people in your field of endeavor.

This is one of the necessities of going to church, and you might want to try it out next Sunday for a testimony.

It allows You to Serve God among Men

Service is another necessity of going to church. I know how some churchgoers talk about worshipping God from the comfort of their homes as a more appealing feeling than being in the church.

The flop there is that you don’t get to actively participate in servitude to God in an organized form.

There’s the service of almsgiving, consoling the bereaved, and even volunteering in church activities.

All these services not only bring you a good name in church, but it also elevates your persona in the eyes of people outside, like the economic circle. Remember God gives as you give back to him.

It Gives You a Chance to Hear How Others View the Gospel

No one is a monopoly on knowledge and as such, you can learn and unlearn things when you go to the church.

In church, you not only have to chance to network but you also have the opportunity to learn and grow. You can initiate dialogues with advanced members of the congregation and try to learn something from them.

Whatever it is you learn from them helps to structure the basis of your belief. That proves why going to church is necessary.

It Is Important as You Can Listen to Uplifting Messages

The church is a place where messages of upliftment and hope never end. Even though you can get these messages elsewhere, the ones said with spiritual backing always feels better.

Therefore, you might want to get to the church if you want to listen and submerge yourself into any of these words.

It Is Your Escape from the Daily Trials of Life

The Bible says the word and presence of God are your refuges, and since the church has these two essences in their fullness I don’t think there’s any better place to be than in it.

This is more than a reason why going to church is necessary; instead, it forms the basis of the Christian faith.

For some people, going to church is like hiding under a shelter because being in the presence of God relieves you of the struggles of living and brings calm to your mind, soul and body.

This is why it is nice to set aside time to go to church.

It Keeps You in Sync with the Divine Spirit

Last and most important, going to church brings you closer to the force of divine love. It keeps you in sync with God and brings to your possession more clarity and love.

When you go to church, you come into the presence of God and get connected to him almost immediately just for being close enough.

You can now imagine why sinners go to pray in the church asking for forgiveness. They could’ve done it in their house but going to the church is the best way of reconnecting and staying in sync with the divine spirit.

What Do You Do When Your Partner Is Not Religious?

I earlier mentioned how complicated it is to date someone who doesn’t go to church. In that case, the person might be a church goer but here he or she is entirely irreligious.

Handling the former case can go easily but this one needs further thought. However, nothing is impossible and I have curated some tips on what you should do when your partner is irreligious.

  • You have to put love at the center of everything
  • You should not impose on them
  • You don’t have to judge them
  • You have to desist from religious arguments
  • You should learn to listen to each other

You Have to Put Love at the Center of Everything

Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Go to Church

I suppose love is the wheel that brought the two to this level, and it is also the glue that holds both of you together.

This same love can make things work out between you two, irrespective of the religious differences. Do not allow your sense of judgment to be clouded by your religious affiliations.

Making love the chief directing force in the relationship is not as easy as it sounds, but you can make it work out by taking drastic steps to make sure it remains the ultimate fulcrum.

You Should Not Impose on Them

For a healthy relationship between you and your irreligious partner, at least in the meantime, you should not impose on them to practice with you.

Imposition brings a feeling of disgust and contempt to the mind of the person you’re doing it to. It is still an idea because you’ll be blamed if anything goes wrong.

To escape that, you should not impose on them person until you’ve figured out the next phase of the relationship.

You Don’t Have to Judge Them

Another thing you have to do is to avoid judging the person. Don’t make him or her feel guilt-tripped for not being of the same faith.

This is because it doesn’t have a good impact on them; rather it scares them from communicating with you as they’re afraid of your judgment.

You Have to Desist From Religious Arguments

Say no to any form of religious argument. This is because it only worsens things.

You Should Learn to Listen to Each Other

You have to close in on the communication gap between you two. Listening diligently to each other’s thoughts and plight is the key.

How Do You Make Relationships Work With Religious Differences?

Starting a relationship laden with religious differences is not entirely a hard nut to crack. The problem is in keeping it and making it work every step of the way.

Now, that’s a hard thing to do but regardless you can still make it work. Here’s how.

  • You have to incorporate unconditional love
  • You should replace arguments with moments of clarity
  • You should not take things serious
  • You should decide what works for you both
  • You have to stop stressing about the differences
  • You gotta find a balance

You Have to Incorporate Unconditional Love

Loving without conditions is not easy-peasy, but that’s what you have to do if you want to make your relationship work.

With this, you’re putting away all the differences and limitations and are only loving because you want to love.

Do not attach anything to the feeling, because once that factor is no more you’ll lose interest.

You Should Replace Arguments with Moments of Clarity

Arguments, especially religious-related ones can sink your beautiful relationship like the Titanic.

If you do not address the issue of exchanging words to prove something to your partner, you risk spoiling the whole pleasant experience.

Therefore, you should replace striking religious arguments with moments of clarity. The moments of argument should rather serve as an opportunity to build clarity on certain phenomena of life.

It can bring you guys more together than you even expected.

You Should Not Take Things Too Serious

Another key to thriving in a relationship with religious differences is being able to find laughter in everything.

You should desist from taking everything seriously, as you should just smile and laugh over some things. Being overly serious is detrimental to the relationship.

You Have to Stop Stressing the Differences

The difference between you two is clear, so why stress it? It is very insensitive to continue dwelling on what divides you both than what makes you guys compatible.

Therefore, it’d be better if you stick with your familiarity than your differences.

You, Gotta, Find a Balance

This is the last and the chief of all my tips. Find a balance, study it and flow with it. If you notice a lag, fix it up almost immediately and keep moving further with life and your partner.


From the onset to the latter part of this post, love has been a dominant character and that’s because it is so much strong a feeling to be looked over.

Many people do insane things out of love and they didn’t regret it. This includes dating or marrying someone of a different faith or even a non-churchgoer.

Through this article, I’ve done a thorough breakdown of why it is okay to date someone who doesn’t go to church and even how love plays a vital role in that.

Other issues I treated include the importance of being in church and what you can do to salvage your relationship if there’s a religious difference.

I’m well aware you read to the end with me and can now make thoughtful decisions about your life.

Leave a Comment