Can You Ever Love Someone as Much as Your First Love?

Falling in and out of love has become the norm for a lot of people, regardless of the person’s orientation.

But before your present partner, you must’ve had an ex and another one before your ex and the list goes on back. This brings us to the subject of your first love and how it went down between you guys.

Did you ever get past the feeling? Is it still lurking around somewhere in your mind or heart? Can you ever love someone as much as your first love?

Too many questions with no answers, right? Well, I’ll be giving you the best answers in this post while I also discuss related topics. 

Does Anyone Truly Get Over Their First Love? How?

Can You Ever Love Someone as Much as Your First Love?

Yes, there are a lot of people who truly get over their first love. It is not much of a hassle for a lot of people, especially the ladies who can go out on the streets and get a flock of men running behind them. 

Although she might feel the vacuum, once she sees someone who ticks all her boxes just like her ex did, I’d bet she will move on.

Similarly, some guys find it difficult to get over their first love but I’m sure the numbers don’t add up. 

This is because guys get attracted to what they see and when they catch a glimpse of a figure that beats that of their first love, there are chances he’ll move on. 

The bottom line is, there are a lot of people who get over their first love as against the few who drool and get stuck with the thought of their first love.

Why Do People Believe They Cannot Love Someone as Much as Their First Love?

Can You Ever Love Someone as Much as Your First Love?

Do you wonder why people believe they can’t get over their first love, to the extent of loving someone else as much as they did to their first love?

The explanation for this curiosity solely lies to be elaborated by the person, but I do have a couple of reasons which I’ve come to know through experience and discussions with close friends. Below are five reasons why people believe they can’t love someone as much as their first love.

  • They haven’t opened their heart to love again
  • They think they’ve not met someone better than their first love 
  • They feel it is impossible
  • They’re yet to forgive their self
  • They still reminisce on memories

They Haven’t Opened Their Heart to Love Again

Can You Ever Love Someone as Much as Your First Love?

Loving someone is not rocket science; it is an elaborate feeling that takes time and commitment to mature. Even the faintest of love affairs have strongholds that are hard to pull down or worse get over.

So it shouldn’t surprise you if someone believes they can’t love anyone else as much as their first love, as it is just their mind forming a kind of resistance to anyone who comes their way.

When people fall in and out of love, it creates a vacuum and it continues to expand as they drool over the person they once loved.

Because of this, they kind of build up mental walls for themselves, against any potential partner. They close in their heart to love someone else again.

I have seen this type of emotional defense mechanism in most teenage love and juvenile infatuation between a teenage girl and some older guy. 

So this is what happens, and when this girl or guy matures enough to start getting real-time partners, you find out they’re still locked away in what now becomes the trauma of losing their first love.

This is one of the reasons why a lot of people believe they cannot love someone else as much as their first love.

They Think They’ve Not Met Someone Better than Their First Love

While the first reason why people believe they cannot love someone as much as their first love lies in their inability to open their hearts to love again; this reason has to do with their mental conviction that they’ve not met anyone better than their first love.

Humans tend to have a mental list of what they feel are the needed qualities that a person has to possess before they he or she is desirable. And these features are created from their first love.

When this entanglement flops, they continue to have this list of boxes that was ticked by their first love. Then they go ahead to use it as a yardstick to measure every other person that comes their way.

They continue to do this and when no one can tick all those boxes, they think and believe they cannot love someone as much as their first love.

They now assume they’ve not met anyone who’s like or even better than their first love, hence the drooling and moodiness.

They Feel It Is Impossible

With all the facts I’ve stated earlier on, there’s this thought of impossibility that crawls into the mind of these people who think they can’t get over their first love.

When they think of how hard it will be to get someone that’ll be equal to their first love or even better, it makes them have the impossibility mindset. 

And this mindset can be the sole reason why they can’t get over their first love. I happen to know a married woman who destroyed her home because she felt her husband will not be able to match up to her first love in terms of intimate affairs.

Even the man’s wealth couldn’t get her over the feeling, as she has already let the impossibility mindset eat deep into her core. It ended their marriage and she became worse than sober.

So this remains a viable reason why some people find it hard to get over their first love, to the extent of not being able to love another person as much as their first love.

They’re yet to Forgive Themselves 

Unforgiveness can do you a lot of damage if you do not curtail it and seek counseling. However, this is the state where a lot of those who are still hooked on their first love find themselves.

Probably the relationship ended because of a fault from their angle or they were dumped due to a flaw that has been haunting them. 

Any of these reasons could have ignited unforgiveness in them. Firstly, they could have this feeling towards themself in the sense that they’re faulty. Or they might be finding it difficult to forgive their first love.

Let’s picture a scenario where a girl had a bad experience with her first love, which didn’t quite treat her well.

Now she’s up for suitors or getting into another relationship as a mature lady and she can’t get over her past. She has this disgust for men caused by her first love and it is so gross that she can’t look over it and find love in another man.

To her, she can’t love anyone else like her first love because she’s afraid the person will treat her in the same manner.

They Still Reminisce on Past Memories

Memories are windows to our past experiences. And when there’s much influx of emotions in these memories, it becomes hard to break out of it. This is the case for a lot of those who can’t get over their first love.

They’re so engrossed in the sweet memories they shared with the person, that they can’t seem to snap out of it.

These memories hinder them from loving another person like their first love because they feel the present partner won’t be able to incite a similar surge of feelings like those in their memories.

If you date someone like this, there will be instances where he or she will compare you with another person. Thereby making you feel bad, and also nurse the thought that they don’t love you.

How to Get Over Your First Love?

The following tips below elaborate on how you can get over your first love

  • You have to forgive if there’s a need to
  • You should start living in the present
  • You have to stop comparing your partner with your first love
  • You should give love another chance
  • You have to be committed to your current partner

You have to forgive if there’s Need To

The first step for you to get over your first love is to forgive. Forgive yourself for any hurt you’ve caused in the past to your first love or you forgive your first love for any hurt he or she caused. Forgiveness opens your heart to more love, so consider it.

You Should Start Living in the Present

I know how hard it is to let go of good memories. But if you want to get over your first love, then you should learn how to start living in the present and steer clear of reminiscing in any gone ecstasy.

You Have To Stop Comparing Your Partner with Your First Love

I mentioned how people create and carry a mental list of boxes comprising features that they desire. They create this list after they have examined their first love and how it went down.

Hence, once you decide to get over it the next step is to stop the comparison. It will help you accept your current partner more and snap out of your first love.

You Should Give Love Another Chance

I know how a lot of people abide by the rule of “once bitten, twice shy”. But it doesn’t have to apply in love. If you resolve to get over your first love then you should open your heart to love again or rather give love another chance.

You Have To Be Committed to Your Current Partner

Committing to anyone I decide to settle down with, is one thing that has kept me away from the thought of my first love. Commitment plays a role in our love lives, as it acts as adhesive glue which holds our hearts together.

If you want to get over your first love, find a way to commit to your current partner. Only the thought of your commitment to the person will drift your mind away from whatever you shared in your first love, as the commitment is now bigger.

How Does First Love Feel Like?

I will summarize the feeling of first love with two words; ecstatic and sensational. These two words capture what it feels like to be in love for the first time.

I can also add “poetic” to the description of the feeling because time slows down, birds chirp even when there’s none and mountains slope in your vision. It is just a wild and wonderful feeling.

Do Guys Come Back to Their First Love?

No, most guys do not come back to their first love. A guy can nurse the idea of going back to his first love. But some factors can hinder him.

One factor is discouragement from friends. His guy will probably tell him not to, as the girl he’s going back to could’ve been severely run through by other guys. This is a big turn-off for most guys, so they won’t go back to their first love.

The other factor is masculine pride or the alpha male phenomenon. I know most guys build thick skin for the greater good, but it is also one of the reasons why guys don’t go back to their first love.


This is where I draw the final curtain on this subject. It has been a great ride from the inception to this very end and I’m convinced you got value in the course of reading through the post.

I also know that you now have answers to most of your unanswered queries and more clarification to your confusion. My answers were experience-based, you don’t have to worry about getting real-life instances. 

Finally, don’t forget to hit the share icon and help send this post to others who need to see it.


Leave a Comment