When your boyfriend jokes about you having another boyfriend or about you cheating, he is indirectly showing you how insecure he is. This is a loophole in his personality, and it shows the type of person he is.
He is being insecure about your relationship with him, and he is indirectly throwing it at your face to see what your reaction will be.
If he does this, he is indicating that he needs reassurance that you are his only girlfriend and that you do not have any other boyfriend aside from him.
There are other meanings to this, and you should continue reading to know which one is applicable to your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend jokes about you having another boyfriend for 10 reasons
- He is insecure.
- He has trust issues.
- He wants to know if you are cheating.
- Lack of confidence.
- He is jealous.
- He could be a narcissist.
- He is cheating and trying to cover it.
- It could be emotional abuse.
- He is trying to test you.
- He is trying a tactic on you called triangulation.
He is insecure
This is the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear about a boyfriend making jokes about his girlfriend having another boyfriend.
He is literally making it obvious that he is insecure, and when he is insecure, he becomes scared of losing you.
He also feels that he is not worthy enough to have you as a girlfriend, so he starts to think that you have another boyfriend somewhere without him knowing.
If he behaves like this, then he is insecure and he may not even know it. You may need to talk to him about it to let him know if he cannot see it himself.
He has trust issues
Someone that has trust issues usually finds it hard to trust someone else. What causes this is hurt in past relationships.
Maybe he has been with several women in the past and those women were not truthful and lied to him at every opportunity.
The relationship must have hurt him and probably ended in a break-up. For him to have such trust issues shows he has not healed from his last hurt and he is trying to pass on the pain to his new relationship with you.
Because he has not healed from past relationships where women have lied to him all the way, he finds it difficult to trust you in this new relationship, so he starts to think you are the same as the other women that have lied to him and cheated on him.
It is advisable for him to heal before going into any new relationship if this trust issue will not let his new relationship thrive.
He wants to know if you are cheating
He may be doing that because he wants to find out if you are cheating and he has not seen the perfect medium to ask if you are cheating, or he does not want to directly ask you if you are cheating, so he feels the best way to find out if you are cheating is to joke about you having another boyfriend.
Even if this is his intention, it is not the best way to find out if you are cheating. This is because if you consistently joke about your girlfriend having another boyfriend, she starts to think that you are suspecting her of cheating. That would be her default reaction.
This could cause another issue in your relationship. You should not joke about your girlfriend cheating if you are not sure she actually cheated
If you do this consistently, you may have lost the relationship before you even realize that it was an unhealthy behavior for your relationship.
Lack of confidence
If he constantly makes jokes about you having another boyfriend, then it means the guy himself has a lack of confidence.
He is not confident enough that he can keep you and he feels there is someone else you are with that is better than him.
Guys that are not confident enough that they can keep their girlfriends usually feel that she is seeing someone else who happens to be her other boyfriend.
Even in his lack of confidence, he may end up losing you as his girlfriend in the end. Because no girl would like to be falsely accused of having another boyfriend.
As a man, do not feel less confident to the extent that you think you are not worthy enough to have a woman in your life. Even if you do end up with a woman, your lack of confidence will make you display traits of insecurity and timidity.
He is jealous
When a guy is jealous, it usually stems from the fact that he feels inferior. Yes, he is feeling inferior and that is why he jokes about you having another boyfriend.
Perhaps, he must have seen you talking or laughing with your male friend who seems to be higher than him in status. Because he feels inferior, he starts to feel jealous because your friend is higher than him in status.
When this happens, he starts to joke about him being your boyfriend just to see exactly how you will react and what you will say. If this happens too much, it could lead to a breakup between you guys.
So, what you need to do is to make him understand that you are with him. If he still has this jealousy in him and he has not dealt with it, it will be difficult for him to believe you, it may just be a wasted effort.
He could be a narcissist
Yes, it is very possible that he could be a narcissist. A narcissist is someone that is fond of exploiting others without even feeling guilty or shame.
A narcissist boyfriend will constantly make jokes about you having another boyfriend even though you have told him severally that you do not like it and it hurts your feelings, he will keep on doing it without feeling remorse.
Narcissism is usually found among men. Another narcissistic behavior is when he constantly and always needs validation and praise.
He will always put you in that tight position where you will always need to affirm or praise him for him to believe that you do not have another boyfriend. Narcissists also have a sense of entitlement.
The idea of a narcissist boyfriend is that he makes jokes about you having another boyfriend to indirectly make you prove him wrong by affirming him or praising him that he is your only boyfriend and you do not have any other boyfriend aside from him.
He is cheating and trying to cover it
Yes, it is possible that he himself is cheating on you and he wants to try to cover it up or throw it in your face to make it less obvious that he is cheating on you.
When he is cheating, he will try to drive your attention away from every form of evidence that he is cheating, then he will try to indirectly push it towards you to make you feel guilty for what you did not even do.
When he makes jokes about you having another boyfriend, it may just be a sign that he is also cheating and he wants to cover it up by making jokes about you cheating.
You should have this in mind as well and know how to deal with it if it happens.
It could be emotional abuse
When he makes jokes about you having another boyfriend he may just be trying to abuse you emotionally.
Emotional abuse is when someone tries to manipulate you or control you with some emotionally abusive tactics.
He knows fully well that you do not like the fact that he keeps emphasizing that you have another boyfriend, but he keeps doing it because his aim is to abuse you emotionally and make you feel bad for no reason.
If you are in a relationship with such a person, it is advisable you withdraw because you will spend a lot of your years as a sad person, and I know this isn’t what you want.
A boyfriend should put a smile on your face and not try every means possible to make you sad or to inflict pain on you.
He is trying to test you
It could be that this guy does not know you very well. Maybe he didn’t do his background check before making you his girlfriend, and since then, he’s been having doubts about himself.
Someone who has some sort of doubt in him will try to test you in different ways to see who you really are and what you can do.
So what he will do is he will accuse you of having another boyfriend, mostly for the purpose of testing you to see your reaction and what you are going to say.
He will definitely judge or come to a conclusion based on how you react and what you say as well.
So, when he next accuses you of having another boyfriend, have it in mind that he is just trying to test you, so you should know how to respond to such an accusation.
Now that you are aware of what he is doing, you should be able to respond better.
He is trying a tactic on you called triangulation
This may not be so common, but it happens a lot without people knowing it.
What he hopes to achieve with this triangulation is to make it so obvious that he is in high demand by other girls, so that it will indirectly pass a message to you that other girls want to have him.
And if you do not treat him well, there are other girls waiting to have him and treat him better.
Another thing that this triangulation does is that it makes you worry about being replaced. This is kind of a mind game that some insecure guys play on their girlfriends.
In the real sense, he may not even have other girls who want him even if you leave him. He may just be trying to make you think that you need to please him more to make him believe that you are worthy enough to have him.
This is not a good way to lead a relationship as a man. If this is what you have been doing in your relationship, it is doing you more harm than good. If you do not know this, you may have lost your relationship before you even realize it.
Conclusion
If your boyfriend continuously jokes about you having another boyfriend and you do not like it, you should communicate with him to let him know you do not like his actions towards you.
Even if he is trying to find out if you are cheating on him, there are better ways to go about it other than playfully accusing you of cheating, which you may not be cheating in reality.
If this continues, it may result in your losing your relationship as a man. As a lady, if your boyfriend does this to you, think for yourself why he does this, and when you are done, ask yourself why you have been tolerating this for too long.
As a woman, I am sure you do not feel comfortable each time he jokes about you having another boyfriend. You need to make it known to him that you do not find it funny and that he should stop it if it is a joke.
On the flip side, advise him that he needs to work on his self-esteem and confidence. When he continuously makes jokes about you having another boyfriend, it just indicates that he has confidence or self-esteem issues.
He should play his own part by working to become a more confident man who knows his worth and his value.
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