My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past! Why?

Our past has a lot about us left in it. We look back at it and either grin with a smile or wince in pain. Some of these experiences, whether good or bad, have some of our doing in them.

However, when the past haunts you, it doesn’t only affect you but extends to people around you, i.e. your partners, kids, co-workers, and even family.

While some of these people grow past it, others don’t and it explains why your boyfriend is insecure about your past.

This reason could be vague, which means there are other possible reasons which link to his insecurity.

This post will be doing a lot of explanation on the subject of your boyfriend’s insecurity as a result of your past.

10 Likely Reasons Why Does Your Boyfriend Worry So Much About Your Past?

The thought of being haunted by a past mistake is sickening, but sometimes even a good experience is often frowned at.

This could be your boyfriend’s state of mind. A lot of good memories from your past remind him of how little he’s doing, and he’s feeling left out.

However, this seems to picture why he worries so much about your past, but let’s examine other factors which constitute his insecurities.

  1. It shows he has low self-esteem
  2. It means he’s attached to you
  3. It means he’ possessive
  4. It indicates that your actions lately are suspicious
  5. It means he has trust issues
  6. It simply means he’s afraid of getting hurt
  7. It shows he’s an overthinker
  8. It means he’s being cautious
  9. It says a lot about his past experiences
  10. It indicates the absence of love

It Shows He Has Low Self-esteem

My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past

I’m lucky to be an outgoing person and I’ve seen a lot of things about people, nay humanity at large.

Some of my close friends do say that I have a thing about deciphering one’s attitude, even the slightest of them.

And I tell you that I can know a confident man and his opposite, by just the words of their mouth.

That said, I have discovered that a lot of insecurities in a relationship first come from a place of low self-esteem before any other thing.

Your boyfriend is probably one of those guys who thinks he doesn’t deserve you and as such looks back to your past relationship and shiver at the caliber of men, you dealt with.

He’s probably shocked that you settled for him even after such a wonderful past with men, and he’s worried that he might just be one of your game plans.

He is not confident in himself but rather thinks he’s no better than any of your exes.

It Means He’s Attached to You

An attachment could be a reason why your boyfriend is getting himself drunk at the thought of your past. He’s so much into you that a conversation about your past sends quivers down his spine.

He doesn’t want to imagine you’ve ever slept with any other man, and when he does realize you might’ve done that, he breaks down.

If your boyfriend is attached to you, he might be worried about your past more than you’re worried about it.

It Means He’ Possessive

If your boyfriend is slightly toxic, like he freaks out at the sight of you and another guy, then he’s probably possessive.

And this feeling gives him a nudge that you might still be savoring in the sweet moments of your past.

While this is synonymous with most men who want to mark and secure their territory, others do not take it lightly. Guys who get overly possessive are liable to get more worried about their past than the present.

This usually happens if he recently saw any of your exes around town. If he starts assuming things, then he’s also likely to get worried.

He’s worried that the dude might invite you to dinner or something… all pointing to insecurity.

It Indicates That Your Actions Lately Is Suspicious

My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past

One of my friends is my inspiration on this point. The anonymity policy which I uphold forbids me from mentioning his name, while his story isn’t.

This friend of mine is guilty of this subject matter and it started when he found texts from an unknown number on his girl’s phone. As most women do, she denied it and my friend became a sack of worries.

The same thing might be playing out in your case. If your boyfriend found one of your exes’ business cards on your purse or he perceives men’s cologne on your hair, all these might trigger him.

Have you been hanging out with an ex who now wants to be just a friend? Is your current boss one of your exes?

If any of these questions have a positive answer to them, then your boyfriend has more than enough reason to worry so much about your past, because your actions are all suspicious.

It Means He Has Trust Issues

Loving a person is one thing, and trusting that same person is another thing. A lot of partners are in this situation and peradventure you guys are in this state. Then worries from the past are bound to come up from any of the partners.

If your boyfriend has the most trust issues, he’s likely to b the one with the most worries. He’s worried that you haven’t gotten rid of your past.

Some girls leave their hair done the same way their past boyfriends like it and this could be red flags to your boyfriend, who might think you are still in love with your ex.

It Simply Means He’s Afraid of Getting Hurt

If you had a past involving crime and drug use, your boyfriend could worry so much about it.

Assuming you worked for a cartel or were a stripper under a ruthless pimp, your boyfriend could get scared that your past life would come back to haunt not just only you, but also him.

It gets even worse if you killed somebody in your past. He might be worried that he will share in your karma when it eventually comes for you.

It Shows He’s an Overthinker

My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past

We’ve heard so much about overthinkers, haven’t we? How do they question why the day has 24hrs instead of more? Or those that live in their head, assuming unbecoming things.

Your boyfriend might be one of them, which accounts for why he’s overly thinking about your past.

If he’s always assuming things that were not in place, he can assume a lot of things about your past and get worried about it.

It Means He’s Being Cautious

Your boyfriend could be worried so much about your past because he’s being cautious. He’s being cautious of getting run over by one of your gangster boyfriends from your past.

He’s cautious that you might get hurt. He’s cautious because your past seems to be a ticking bomb. He’s cautious like a mother is, about her kid whose Troubled dad comes around by the school.

He’s cautious not to get caught in the crossfire from your past.

It Says a Lot About His Past Experiences

Another factor that adds to why your boyfriend is worried about your past is his past. If he was in a relationship that turned bad because of the past of the girl, he might also get worried about the same thing in his relationship with you.

The past has its way of crawling into our minds and when we try to evaluate them; we find ourselves living right in them. This can bring back a lot of forgotten pains.

It Indicates the Absence of Love

My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past

Some time ago, I heard a lady talk about how unloving partners dwell so much in the past of one another.

She mentioned that they’re probably looking for flimsy excuses to break up after what seems like an unsuccessful date. She further mentioned that a man who truly loves you will not question your past.

This might sound like a blinding proclamation, but she might be correct. If your boyfriend is worried so much about your past probably because he doesn’t love you that much, let them go.

How to Make Your Boyfriend Forget Your Past?

Below are some of the ways which I believe will help you get your boyfriend to forget about your past.

  • You can create new and lasting memories
  • You should not compare him with your exes
  • You should often reassure him of your love and commitment
  • You must keep all relationships with your exes formal
  • You can change the environment

You Can Create New and Lasting Memories

My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past

Creating new memories proves to be one of the best ways of forgetting old ones. When you create new memories, your mind gradually makes the old ones extinct, and this works well in making sure that your boyfriend stops getting worried about your past.

You can organize special treats to places he’s never been. You can take him to his favorite places… make him feel more in the present than in his mind.

This tip works well if your boyfriend is an overthinker, as it relieves him from dwelling much on his mind.

If he continues being more active in the present, he won’t see a cause to overthink your past, and creating new memories means that you’re not giving him the avenue to do that.

You Should Not Compare Him with Your Exes

Don’t do a comparison! It kills the mind and makes the body feel worthless and weak.

If your boyfriend is worried about your past because he has low self-esteem, ending any form of a comparison between him and maybe one of your exes will give him his confidence back.

This process will not happen immediately, but if you continue increasing his worth by appreciating his efforts, he will eventually stop thinking aback.

You Should Often Reassure Him of Your Love and Commitment

My Boyfriend Is Insecure About My Past

A reassurance of love and commitment could be your little way of solving your boyfriend’s issue of worrying so much about your past. A lot of us have been there.

At some point in our life, we’ve had the thought that our partners might still be in touch with their exes. And all we needed to get past that thought was a reassurance that we are their best bet.

You can use affirmative words of love and also corresponding actions to show your boyfriend that you love him. It will not only make him stop worrying, but it will also increase his value.

Men love respect, give him that and watch him crawl out of this little mirage of thought which has enslaved him for far too long.

You Must Keep All Relationships with Your Exes Formal

Jealousy can make your boyfriend fret and worry too much about your past. If he’s getting this feeling because you’re still in touch with one of your exes, it is pertinent to end everything sensual with this ex of yours.

You can start this by keeping everything as formal as possible to avoid any complications.

If your ex wants a meet-up with you, make sure it is done in an open space like a park or a well-known eatery.

Any enclosed meeting will be written off as private, so make sure not to give anybody the feeling that you’re seeing your ex. If it’s possible, you can invite your boyfriend to such meet-ups if he agrees to come along.

You Can Change the Environment

Changing the environment is another tip that will help clear your boyfriend’s mind from your past. After all, leaving town is not totally a bad idea.

Moving to a completely new place means that you’re leaving behind all things and starting afresh. This has proven to be a very effective way of solving this issue, especially when you have a violent past with drugs and pimps.


We’ve come to the end of this article, which explores why your boyfriend is so much worried about your past. It also provides various reasons which are possible causes of this situation.

I’m confident that the tips provided in this article will help you make your boyfriend forget about your past. Do not forget to do your part of the bargain and leave time and process to heal him.

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