Crying was the first thing you did when you arrived on this planet, and it is a natural and healthy emotional response. If you find yourself crying there is nothing wrong with it, even if it’s frequent.
However, if you have a boyfriend that says you cry too much, it could mean there is a dysregulation in his emotional development.
It mostly has nothing to do with you. If such comments or statement causes you discomfort it’s best to find help and communicate your feelings.
Your boyfriend saying you cry too much might mean several things, but I have helped simplify what this means the most.
Meaning When Your Boyfriend Says You Cry Too Much
1. He’s Frustrated with your actions
It’s common for people to be confused or easily put off by someone crying. Your boyfriend cannot properly deal with the intensity of the emotional display he is facing in your relationship.
2. He Wants To Help You
Your boyfriend has concerns about your frequent crying and is worried that you may be emotionally unbalanced. He wants to help you sort out the issues that make you cry often. He is trying to point out the symptoms of your stress so that a solution can be found.
3. He’s Emotionally Unavailable
Sometimes your boyfriend accuses you of crying too much because of his emotional inadequacies.
He uses such a statement to avoid facing the underlying causes of stress because he doesn’t understand them. This can result from upbringing and environmental factors.
4. He Doesn’t Know How To Show Support
When your boyfriend struggles with the means of showing you support when you are upset, this can build up his frustration. He wants to help but doesn’t know how. Which leads to a more chaotic situation.
What To Do If Your Boyfriend Says You Cry Too Much
There are helpful things you can do if your boyfriend says you cry too much and I will list and explain these tips to you.
Share Your Feelings with Him
Many times, people closest to us don’t know our internal struggles, even though we hope they see. You should communicate these feelings with your boyfriend and expect to see positive results.
You have to bring him into the understanding of the things that trigger and cause you to cry. By doing this he will learn to avoid doing those things or help you out better because he knows and understands you.
True understanding is gotten from effective communication. Find a good time and explain how his statements make you feel. Tell him the criticism he employs doesn’t sit well emotionally with you and you will prefer his support in such circumstances.
You have to explain to him that crying is natural and an okay thing to do. This will educate him and also change his views or ideas about crying. If crying was a thing of a nuisance to him before he will understand that it’s only healthy that you cry.
Doing this will well show his emotional development and history too. You can then work together to support both emotional needs.
Create Boundaries
if your boyfriend is fond of calling you out when you cry, you can set boundaries that will essentially put that habit to an end. This way you won’t have him telling accusing you of crying too much when he sees you in tears.
You must make him understand you won’t tolerate any form of shame being directed your way when you are crying. This will allow you to exist emotionally and healthily. Setting the right boundaries keeps you safe from external intrusion and attacks.
Your boyfriend says you cry too much can be a form of emotional blackmail. If you don’t declare the rules or guidelines in your relationship, you will be forced to live a life that isn’t yours. Over time, this will lead to more stressful situations and breakdowns.
The best solution is striking when the iron is hot. Tell him you want your feelings, emotions, and thoughts to be respected by him.
When this doesn’t happen it’s okay to walk out and find some peace within yourself. You shouldn’t be shamed for expressing your feelings no matter how they are displayed.
Seek Professional Support
Sometimes you will need counseling to deal with the emotional toll of having your boyfriend commenting on your crying. Counseling goes a long way to help you and your boyfriend understand each other better.
The many benefits of seeking this kind of support cannot be mentioned but its effect will be seen once you try this out.
This kind of help will allow you to express your feeling and emotions more healthily and also teaches your boyfriend how to understand your emotional needs.
A professional therapist is a blessing. They can teach you new ways of communication that are helpful to you and you will benefit from this. It eliminates such kind of brash statements and your boyfriend will find better constructive ways to talk to you.
Counseling will also allow you to understand yourself better. When we cry it’s an emotional or physical response to pain or pleasure. Sometimes it’s just raging hormones moving through our bodies and understanding them is very important.
When you understand them better, you become more emotionally balanced and healthier. This leads to a happier relationship and a more peaceful life.
Give Yourself A Break
Have you been neglecting your mental health and deep diving into stressful situations?? Constant exposure to high stress at work, home, relationships, and others can make you feel overwhelmed with your emotions.
You can see yourself crying because of all these compounding problems plaguing you.
Crying too much results from all these. You need to take time off and put yourself first at all times. This can involve removing yourself from this situation, taking a break from work, relationship and focusing solely on yourself.
When you look inwards you can point out those things that are important to you and do them. This also helps you manage your emotions better, with better control of them.
What you can do is reach out to close family members for support. These should be persons who can offer support for your emotional needs. You can also consider seeing a therapist to help you out.
Is It Normal To Cry Too Much In A Relationship?
If the tears shed in your relationship are not tears of joy, then any form of crying is abnormal. Relationships are supposed to bring you happiness, growth, and peace of mind. It is not normal when you are forced to cry frequently.
Any boyfriend that makes you cry much with his actions or words is not good for your mental health. This can mean that he is always manipulating you or doesn’t even understand his own emotions. It is possible that he doesn’t recognize that his actions are harmful to you.
He may also be a manipulator and use this tactic to control you in the relationship. He wants to invalidate your feelings, so he is always in control.
Too much crying can also mean that your emotional needs are not met. These needs include care, support, love, stability, and other necessary things to make it function properly. Where these are lacking, you hardly will have a dry eye.
So, you must understand things that make a relationship normal. Anything out of the parameters of your well-being should be considered a red flag. An emotionally balanced and healthy partner will always have a normal relationship.
Finally, understand it is not normal to cry too much in a relationship.
How Do You Know You Cry Too Much?
Since you are not an infant, I believe you can tell the difference between normal crying and one that’s too much. Infants cry too much. This is because that’s the only means of communication that they can muster in their early stages of development.
As we become adults, we learn the language and have other ways we can communicate with other people around us. In a relationship crying too much can be hard to define, however, there are some things to watch out for that show if you have an abnormal crying rate.
Crying when scolded
If you cry every time, you are criticized or scolded then it counts as too much crying. Emotionally healthy people should be able to take and handle criticisms without crying at each instance.
Crying during a conversation
When you cannot hold a conversation without breaking down in tears, this also counts as too much crying.
Crying when denied something
When you are denied something you want and this leads to tears it is you crying much.
Crying when you feel confused
Frequently crying because you are confused also fits this rule. It shows you need more emotional control.
Crying due to pressure
If constant pressure makes you break down in tears, then you suffer from the frequent crying syndrome. Pressure is constant in life and dealing with it healthily is the best way to go.
Crying because you want something
When you have a desire for something and this causes you to cry, it means you cry too much. Only infants do two his who are dares accepted, adults with this habit are immature.
Crying for no reason
Anytime you cry and there is no apparent and rational explanation for this happening then it’s crying too much.
Crying when you are alone
Sometimes people cry because of loneliness. When this becomes a habit then you know it fits this description.
Crying to prove a point
If you have to cry every time you want to prove a point then you cry too much.
All the above are instances that show that you cry too much. The common thing between them is that they are things that ordinarily shouldn’t cause you to break down Daily life routines and behaviors should not be the reason why you cry.
What Happens When You Cry For Too Long?
Crying is a healthy and natural process as we have mentioned earlier in this article. When you cry for too long, there could be negative consequences to such actions.
Just like everything on earth, too much of anything can be bad for you and this includes crying. If you must cry, keep it simple and learn not to do detrimental things to yourself.
Tiredness
long periods of crying can physically drain you. It takes a lot of energy in your body to produce tears, air, and sound as you cry.
This can leave you exhausted if you continue this for a long time. You discover you lack the energy to work, think, and even eat when you cry for a long.
Emotional dysregulation
crying for too long isn’t healthy for the brain. It keeps the brain in a constant emotional downtime and this has a psychological effect on you and your life at large. Crying too much can cause physical pain too as well as emotional instability.
Final verdict
If your boyfriend says you cry too much, then you must do a self-assessment without a checklist and analyze the situation yourself.
Learn to tell the difference between manipulation and support. Knowing this will put you on the right path, which will lead you to make better choices for yourself.