If you were called soft by a lady, you should get over the thought that she insulted you. It was just a description of how you acted. You must have been wondering why she referred to you as soft and which of your actions pinpointed softness.
It’s going to be an awesome ride because in this article, we will be looking at what it means when a girl calls you soft, how you can stop being soft, and whether or not being soft is good.
5 Reasons Why She Called You Soft
Relative to the meaning of the word “soft,” which you are acquainted with, a girl who calls you “soft” may be trying to let you know that you are kind-hearted and she loves it.
Some girls prefer being with soft guys because they get a level of understanding that they wouldn’t get with guys who are all straight.
Far from that, she may be trying to let you know that you weren’t able to satisfy her in bed. She probably wanted it badly, but you did the best you could, which was way below her expectations. Hence, she sees you as a soft guy.
We’ll be looking at 5 detailed reasons why she called you soft right below.
It Means You Are Kind-hearted
If you realize that you show people care and affection without considering whether that you know them or not, then you sure are a soft guy.
Being soft restricts you from turning your back on something everyone else will rightly turn their back on because you have a compassionate heart.
Even at your place of work, you may consider giving an unbelievable discount to someone because they can’t afford to get what they want.
It Means You Are Not Confident
Soft people are not confident people, and if they were, they would not act fearfully. She probably called you soft because she noticed you fidget over little things which she expected you to show some level of confidence over.
If you have been trying to court a lady, she notices your every move and with that she can rate your level of confidence.
You probably exhibited some level of shyness while making your intentions known to her, then it is a pointer that you are a soft guy. Soft guys display shyness, especially when they are in the company a lady, because they are overly careful not to say or do anything that will get her upset.
It Means You Are Too Emotional
People who are easily distracted by emotional situations are generally portrayed as “soft.”
In this regard, women are more often referred to as “soft” because they have a higher tendency to display emotional traits. Therefore, if a girl calls you soft, it means she has observed how emotional you are over things.
It Means That You Are Too Cold In Bed
If you got intimate with the lady who called you soft, then she is trying to say that you were cold in bed. She probably was expecting you to take her all the way to cloud 9, but instead, you performed like a novice would.
If it were the other way round, she would have definitely commended your ability to drive her nuts while you both got intimate.
She wouldn’t even mind saying it to make friends and ask you for more. Since you fell short of her expectations, she’ll refer to you as “soft.”
It Indicates That She Is Not Convinced That You Are A Real Man
You properly behaved girly, and that’s why she didn’t hesitate to call you soft. As a guy, she expects you to behave as a man would.
The whole “Alpha-male” composure, includes building a muscular body, having a bold dress sense, being fearless, and many more.
However, if you behave short of these, she begins to consider you less of a man. Hence, “soft” is a perfect word to describe this personal trait of yours.
How You Can Stop Being Soft
Underneath are three ways you can still be soft.
Work On Your Emotions
Your emotions are the engine house where your ability to show compassion or assertiveness lies. When you are able to work through your emotions, you become assertive and gain control over them.
It will not be an easy task, but it will be worthwhile; otherwise, you may continue to be open to everyone and go about doing everything they ask of you because being soft makes you vulnerable.
The ability to have a hold on your emotions can be related to saying, ” No one can put me in a box except I decide to go into the box.” If you want to stop being soft, you have to curb it from the origin, which is your emotion.
Learn To Say No
The desire to say yes to everyone is really less about them and more about your need to be approved or perceived as loving, kind, or generous.
Go underneath that and ask yourself “why am I having that challenge?”. You get to find out that a higher percentage of these reasons are positive, but can you already know that about yourself?
If you know you are loving, kind, and generous, you will be able to say a healthy yes when one is required and a healthy no when one is required.
If you keep telling everyone yes, then everyone will seem to have access to you. It obviously shows that you can’t say no even if you will be negatively affected because you are just so soft-hearted.
Always Be In The Company Of Assertive Guys
You’ve probably heard some time ago that your company influences your decisions and actions. This shows that if you want to stop being soft, you should surround yourself with guys who aren’t soft.
They would teach you, either directly or indirectly, how to be soft. What this means is that, due to your soft nature, you may not be able to open up and tell them how you desire to be like them.
Therefore, when you regularly stay in their company, you see how they talk and behave in an assertive manner. In no time, you will find yourself talking and behaving like them, which is to say that you’ve left the clique of soft guys.
Is Being Soft A Good Thing?
Being soft has its pros and cons, and hence, we can’t just say you shouldn’t be soft because you feel it makes you look less of a man.
Firstly, let’s look at the positive side of being soft. Society has made us all believe that for you to attract a lady, you ought to be muscular and behave in a non-caring manner. This will show your manly traits.
But the reversal is the case because, lately, women are becoming more attracted to soft men. They perceive soft men in a much warmer, emotional, and not physically intimidating way.
Also, it makes you a beautiful soul, and in no time, you’ll have a whole lot of people desiring to be like you. You don’t lose touch with humanity because you are always concerned about people and won’t hesitate to give a helping hand if need be.
Therefore, being a soft guy doesn’t make you less of yourself and can be said to be a good trait to exhibit. If a higher percentage of the world’s population could be soft-minded, we wouldn’t lose touch with humanity.
To bring balance, let’s look at the reasons why being soft, especially as a guy, is unfavorable. As much as some girls like soft guys, there are also a number of girls who love assertive guys.
Lately, from my experience, I’ve heard so many ladies say they want a man who is hard, strong, and shows his manly attributes. She craves masculine power and confidence when you walk up to her or talk to her.
But what happens when you show up as a nice guy is that you water yourself down. It shows that you do not have control over your emotions, and this becomes a turnoff for her.
Another reason why being soft can be considered a bad thing is that most people will always see you as vulnerable and take advantage of it.
They know that you love to help people who need assistance and can put up a lie just to extort money from you.
In order to protect yourself from being exploited, you don’t need to be solely soft. This will let people around you know their boundaries when relating to you.
Conclusion
In summary, just as has been stated above, there are two facets to being soft. It can be positive or negative. This shouldn’t be a yardstick for you to desist from bringing soft because you are scared people will take advantage of you.
On the other hand, it also doesn’t mean you should be all soft so you are not taken for granted.
Hence, after going through the above signs, which you know whether or not, you realize you fall into the category of soft guys, All you need to do is create a balance such that you are neither soft nor hard.
I trust that you have been able to gain clarity on what it means when a girl calls you soft, whether or not being soft is good, and how you can stop being soft.