She Led Me on Then Rejected Me! Why Did She Do That?

In the game of subtle seduction, more times than often, plenty of individuals lament how they were being led on, so rejected.

Has there ever been a case scenario where someone gives you cues that suggests they like you and are romantically inquisitive about you, just for them to reject you once you make a move by asking them out?

Now, I know you must be puzzled by this and the only question on your mind could be ‘Why did she lead me on then reject me?

Well, not to worry because the solution to your question is not far-fetched as this article gives an overview of this topic.

Why Girls Lead You Only to Reject You?

There isn’t any statistical record that claims that there is a better percentage of a particular gender to lead a person on with the intent of rejecting them. But it’s arguable to say that this is often common with female folks.

Here are 5 reasons why a girl would lead you on, then reject you:

  1. Misconception
  2. External Influence
  3. An Ulterior Motive
  4. Excess Availability
  5. Multiple Options

1. Misconception

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

There are quite a number of psychological factors that govern the way we behave, how we behave, and the reason we behave in a certain manner.

And here is a clear-cut example of how a girl’s behavioral pattern can contribute to a topic like this.

Most persons, or in this context, ladies, may tend towards being nice to almost everyone, including guys they come in contact with, which might make them come off as though they are trying to lead you on – giving casual pecks and kisses, and sometimes a bit of a hug.

Now, you on the other hand who isn’t of the knowledge of this girl’s personality may end up mistaking her kind gesture or attention towards you as a lead-on, and then you feel as though she rejected you when she tells you she is in no way romantically attracted to you.

On your own, you assumed that this girl had some kind of feelings for you because of a little bit of affection shown toward you which you interpreted as a lead-on.

Your rejection came as a result of everything being in your head and it was never real.

2. External Influence

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

A girl can be romantically attracted to you because you display the certain kind of physical masculine characteristics she desires. And may do well to make her interest shown, while carefully applying tact.

Despite all this, a girl can decide to lead you on and then reject you.

The rejection may not come as a deliberate act, but rather from the area of peer pressure or family influence.

A girl who is interested in you can initiate a lead-on process and then reject you at the end because she may be trying to meet up with a family standard, or perhaps friends who strongly advise against being in a relationship with you.

As a function of social construct and indoctrination, it may not be likely for a girl to be with you, because of the circumstances surrounding the situation.

She might have initially had feelings for you and led you on, but the rejection may come as a result of some turnout of the event.

Conflicts that arise from external Influence have something to do with tribe, religious upbringing, and sometimes just someone trying to convince the girl that you are not good enough for her, either by your standard of living or financial capability.

3. An Ulterior Motive

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

In the world today, many girls may claim to have feelings for you, while they are not in any way romantically interested in you. Not even in the slightest.

This particular character trait is more common among the female folk.

There are a lot of girls who may not be  attracted to you, but they still go ahead to lead you on.

They do this with the sole intent of using you as a means to an end.

All they want from you is access to some kind of resource, money, or information you possess and then end up rejecting you after they feel they have gotten what they wanted from you.

Such persons are called Machiavellians. Manipulative people; use other people just so they can achieve a certain goal, and they do it in the most cunning way they know.

Even if it means leading you on with the intent of rejecting you when their objective has been achieved.

4. Excess Availability

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

As you know, girls who are romantically interested in you do not just wake up one fine morning and say they have completely lost interest in you, for no reason after you both have gotten a chance to spend some time together.

You and the girl in question may be hanging out more frequently, possibly going out on a couple of dates, engaging in lengthy conversations, late night calls and waking up to each other’s texts. All these activities indicate that she is indeed leading you on.

But as time passes, her affection lessens and rejection follows.

In this case, she didn’t lead you on with the intent of rejecting you. She led you on and then rejected you because you were ready too available.

The psychology of the woman’s mind is intrigued by the unknown.

You being around almost all the time can make her feel that she knows all that it is to you. The notion of you being available every time she calls gives her the impression that can read you like a book.

This ought to let you know that everything should be done at a controlled rate and absence makes the heart grow fonder.

A little distance sometimes would have helped balance things a bit.

But in some cases, rejection is inevitable.

5. Multiple Options

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

There is one thing you need to have a proper understanding of and that is the power of options.

A girl may develop feelings for you and she may choose to leave you clues that point out the fact that she is very much interested in you.

She, on her part, has chosen to reach out to you and perform certain actions that may prove to be a clear message she is into you.

She will try to bring up topics in line with relationship talks, but you on other hand may choose to play dumb with the excuse that you are only taking your time when you know you both like each other and she is trying to lead you on.

The rejection comes as a result of your delay in action because there are a whole lot of guys aside from you that catch her fancy, and she might have chosen to explore the plethora of options at her disposal.

How Do You Deal With Someone Leading You On Then Rejecting You?

It’s okay to get all emotional after rejection because your emotions help you to deal with various things in your life.

Research has shown that there are a whole lot of emotions you are likely to experience after a said rejection, which comes in different forms.

A tremendous increase in emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and sadness.

The good news is that there is a suitable guideline that can help you navigate through emotional distress like that of rejection.

  • Turn Your Anger Into Positive Experience
  • Feel Like You Just Dodged A Bullet
  • Pay More Attention To Your Mental Health
  • Try Not To Place Too Much Expectation On People
  • Accept Things As They Are And Move On

1. Turn Your Anger Into Positive Experience

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

The predominant emotion you’d experience after a rejection is anger. Your entire mind gets filled with rage, and after some time, the anger begins to morph into different negative emotions, with the intensity of each negative emotion taking a different progression.

It is often advised that you try to keep your emotions in check. Decisions made and actions taken under the influence of anger are not being thought through.

Because your frontal lobe (thinking brain) finds it difficult to properly process information during an emotional surge and act accordingly.

You can still take control of the situation by gaining mastery over your emotions and choosing to feel in a manner you choose, which is positive.

This single decision can become a plot twist. You can decide to turn your rejection into motivation by channelling your energy into something more productive.

Do not let the pain hold you back, psych yourself up into viewing the situation in a different light and try to create new memories and experiences for yourself through your career path and in your personal life.

2. Feel Like You Just Dodged A Bullet

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

The very consolation that you can receive, which would probably serve as solace, is to adopt the view of probably dodging a bullet.

In the case where the person who led you on and rejected you is a narcissist or manipulative, you’d agree that everything happened for the best.

Try to look at everything from the perspective that you were offered an escape route. Because if you had been in a relationship with someone like that, your life and mental health might have been dragged in the mud.

What would have turned out as an emotional turmoil for you was cut short, thereby saving you the stress of a bigger heartache that might have occurred

3. Pay More Attention To Your Mental Health

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

You should try not to blame yourself after being rejected, as things like this are inevitable and bound to happen.

The only thing you should try to focus on at the moment is your mental health because anything or anyone that costs you your peace is too expensive.

You should know that your mentally health should be taken into consideration as much as your physical health. And healing is a gradual process.

You’d only do yourself some good if you cut off from the girl who led you on and then rejected you, for some time, to help facilitate the healing process.

Spending more time with yourself would help a great deal in dealing with a negative experience like this and it would help strengthen your mental capacity by building a coping mechanism.

4. Try Not To Place Too Much Expectation On People

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

You paying more attention to details before coming to a conclusion that a girl is truly leading you on, or simply being herself, will do you more good than harm.

It is best you equally lower the expectation you place on people, as this can moderately reduce the blow you might receive from any kind of rejection.

There are a lot of things you do not know about some people because they choose to reveal only what they want you to know about themselves.

With the knowledge of this, not expecting much from people gives you a sense of mental safety, and lowers the possible ache you might have received.

5. Accept Things As They Are And Move On

She Led Me on Then Rejected Me

If you were simply asked to accept things and move on might be a pretty difficult thing too, but it’s the first step in the right direction.

After a rejection, you may find it difficult to wrap your head around things. Because no one knows exactly how you feel – some people would undermine the way you are hurting and ask you to immediately get over it.

Emotions may still linger even after you try to get over them. One important step to take in dealing with the pain, anger, and any negative emotions that accompany rejection, is to first accept it.

Not just accepting it, but doing so with the sole purpose of learning a lesson from it. Instead of you ruminating over your negative emotions, validate your emotions and seek your self-worth.


The article simply suggested some reasons as to why a lady might lead you on, and then reject you.

There can be a case scenario where a lady would lead you on and then reject you. Probably because she is not having the mental capacity to be in a relationship with you at that moment.

The best thing is first to be sure, not place too much expectation.

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