My Boyfriend Jokes About My Insecurities: Why/What to Do?

I doubt if there’s a picture-perfect relationship these days. There’s always some kind of doubt present, but for some reason, these doubts are overlooked so much that the affair looks flawless.

Both parties involved in the relationship are prone to be in fear of these doubts, hence, insecure. That means as a woman, you might be insecure in your relationship.

Being inquisitive as to why your boyfriend jokes about your insecurities is sort of normal. This is because it is annoying and weird for someone who claims to have your back.

In this article, I’ll be discussing why he does that and what you could do about it. Happy reading!

5 Possible Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Jokes About Your Insecurities 

Who knows what you have thought about the possible reason why your boyfriend jokes about your insecurities?

Without even thinking it through, a random person, especially a woman, will say he’s a douche. While they’re not wrong, there are other possible reasons why he could be acting in that direction. 

If you feel insecure at some point in your relationship with a guy and he gets to know about it.

It is only wise he helps you navigate through it and get to the side of the light, but if he does otherwise and even jokes about it then something I’d not add up.

I wouldn’t want to drag it any further, let’s look at my findings of the 5 best possible reasons why your boyfriend jokes about your insecurities.

  • It could be he doesn’t care about them
  • It shows he’s giving you the side chick energy
  • It is a clear indication that he’s a jerk and high profiled douchebag
  • It might be he’s emotionally blackmailing you
  • It is because he’s immature and lacks understanding

It Could Be He Doesn’t Care About Them

One of the most significant reasons why your boyfriend could be joking about your insecurities is the fact that he doesn’t care about them.

He’s paying a blind eye to them, so when he remembers how ridiculous they sound to him he tries to make jokes about them.

He’s so not into knowing why you have such insecurities. He’s not even making an effort to fix things up, rather he chose to ridicule you. 

Come to think of it, it could be he’s afraid to admit them because he’s guilty but chose to make jokes out of them so they won’t appear heavy or serious.

A guy who treats your insecurities in this manner may be right in his actions only if your insecurities are ridiculous and unrealistic.

But if there are clear instances to prove them, then he doesn’t care about them. He’s barely seeing them as not serious and as a tool to make people laugh.

It Shows He’s Giving You the Side Chick Energy

When a guy thinks you’re not the “girl”, he’s not going to be fully bothered whether you have insecurities or not. This means he’ll be giving you the side-chick vibes. 

The energy from the way he speaks to you and every other thing speaks volumes of how he sees you. If he sees you as a big deal, he’s not going to make you feel bad by joking about your insecurities.

If your insecurities are because you may not be the main girlfriend, and you have proof, that vindicates my assertions.

On the flip side, if there’s no evidence then you can find out through the occasions he makes such a joke.

If he does it when people are over at y’all house or in public places then he doesn’t see you as a big deal. If you must know, it is disrespectful for him to even do that in the first place.

It Is a Clear Indication That He’s a Jerk and High Profiled Douchebag

My Boyfriend Jokes About My Insecurities

I know this could come out rather bad or harsh to your loved one, but there’s a huge possibility that you’re dating a douchebag.

This is because I know one when I see one, hear them talk, or even examine their stories. And when I do, I don’t hold back from calling them back.

That is exactly what I just did now…calling your boyfriend out for being a jerk. This is because that’s a huge reason for him to make jokes out of his relationship insecurities with you.

What’s going to be funny about you smelling like another woman every evening? And to even think he says it when y’all with other people shows how much of a douchebag he is. 

I haven’t come across a jerk who knows the worth of other people’s feelings, so I can tell you that there’s a good chance that his actions won’t change anytime soon. Perhaps, he hid it during the talking stage and was blinded by love, you didn’t get to see it.

It Might Be He’s Emotionally Blackmailing You

Emotional blackmail and manipulation are well-known traits in some guys. That is, they run over the fears of their partners by downplaying them. This method is used to claim innocence even when they’re not. 

In light of this, they try to work on their insecurities by using yours as opium. But in your case, your boyfriend uses humor as a defense mechanism against his insecurities. 

As he does this, especially in the presence of other people he tries to use to put you in a tight corner. In this place, all you think of is how to please him and get him to stop making jokes about your insecurities.

Guys who are heavy in manipulating their partners do this, likewise using the pity-party method to achieve their aim.

It Is Because He’s Immature and Lacks Understanding

As sad as it sounds, your boyfriend may be lacking maturity. And when I’m talking about maturity, I’m referencing mental.

Given, he looks old and masculine doesn’t translate to mental maturity. It doesn’t mean he can closely examine an issue and proffer solutions or keep shut. 

Due to being immature, your boyfriend fails to see that joking about your insecurities only worsens the issue and does nothing to make you comfortable. And you should know this if he ridiculously repeatedly makes jokes off of your insecurities.

Also, if he nags incessantly or tries to use tears as a way of gaining your attention or pity then he’s so immature. The problem with this is that you can barely do anything effectively to upgrade him, making it a huge problem.

What to do When Your Boyfriend Jokes About Your Insecurities 

I know a lot of ladies who would flare up each time their boyfriend jokes about their insecurities.

They’ll make a scene, by so doing, worsening the issue more. They let their emotions get in the way of their better judgment. You are different! 

Trying to seek interpretations of the reasons and equally what you should do in that circumstance says a lot about how reserved you are. Just as you’ve held your storm during the whole drama, you’ll also need that same energy to be able to navigate the problem. 

Below are my best recommendations on what you can do in the event of your boyfriend joking about your insecurities. 

  • You need to get your nerves calm
  • You don’t ever have to feel dejected
  • You need to confirm the authenticity of these insecurities
  • You should get him to talk things over with you
  • You should consult professional help
  • You have to evaluate his worthiness as a partner

You Need to Get Your Nerves Calm

As I’ve said, you’ve already kept things cool by trying to look outward for ideas on how to handle the situation other than going rogue about it. 

Therefore, the first tip on this sequential list of what to do is to continue being cool. You need to get your nerves calm and consciously try to resolve the issue.

You Don’t Ever Have to Feel Dejected

You’ll feel dejected and foul whenever your boyfriend jokes about your insecurities but you shouldn’t let that get into your head. You should always remain head high when he tries that with you. 

A good way to achieve this is to focus more on your career or self-development. That will help you stay resolved to get to the root of the issue. Without this, you might slip into a bad state of depression and severe anxiety, including subsequent trust issues.

You Need to Confirm the Authenticity of These Insecurities

Before you go on ahead with any other steps on what you can do about your boyfriend’s choice of actions, you should try to confirm that whatever insecurities you have towards your boyfriend are made authentic. 

With strong evidence and points, you can then initiate a conversation with him about it. The need for this confirmation is to avoid the situation whereby your insecurities are truly ridiculous, which is a likely reason why he jokes about them.

Upon proper investigation, if you find out that you’re right or allegedly right, then you can take it to him. I’ll tell you how to approach him with this in the next part.

You Should Get Him to Talk Things Over With You

When you finally discover that your boyfriend is indeed messing around and your insecurities are true at some point, then you should plan a lengthy dialogue with him.

To be discussed here is to know if he identifies that what he’s doing is wrong, the reason why he jokes about your insecurities, and why he’s guilty about them.

If you can carefully introduce questions in this regard, I’m sure you’ll have a productive conversation.

While you’re at it, you need to make sure you make use of a polite tone even if he raises his voice at some point. This is so that you don’t get blamed for any irregularities by anyone he would tell the tale to.

You Should Consult Professional Help

My Boyfriend Jokes About My Insecurities

After your conversation with him and you still feel unsatisfied with either his response or you feel disoriented with what exactly to believe, you can afford perspective by seeking professional help.

In this case, talking with a therapist will be greatly helpful as that will aid your recovery from the blind spot you were moving into. You’ll also be able to set your priorities right if you talk to a professional.

You Have to Evaluate His Worthiness as a Partner

The outcome of the conversation with him alongside your therapy session will help you determine what you’ll do next with him, especially as regards this tip.

You have to consider whether or not the relationship has to continue. For instance, If the reason why your boyfriend jokes about your insecurities is that he’s immature or a jerk, and even after talking to him he doesn’t make amends, then your relationship with him is irredeemable.

Is It Okay to Talk to Your Boyfriend About Your Insecurities?

Yes, it is fine to talk to your boyfriend or partner about your insecurities. But this should be on the basis that you’re fully confident and comfortable with doing that. If the reverse is the case, then you should hold it back to buy yourself time for more thoughts.

Since transparency is a needed quality of attitude in a good relationship, it is only wise that you tell your boyfriend about your insecurities. It shows you barely have any intentions to keep him in the dark about any vital information or give him the motion that he doesn’t know you. 

Also, telling him is a sign of respect and regard. It shows you see him and know his worth. Lastly, doing that shows that you value your relationship with him. If you don’t, there wouldn’t be any need to tell him, worse, you may not even be conscious of these insecurities if at all there are any.

Final Words

No one wants to be in a toxic relationship. It is not only awful, but it is also time-consuming. It is toxic and irresponsible for your boyfriend to joke about your insecurities, especially in public or with others.

While the reason may not be visible to you at the moment, I’m sure you thought of something.

I’m this article, I’ve done a great job analyzing what went wrong and equally how you can go about it. I provided you with a couple of tips on what to do.

With these, I’m convinced your doubts are cleared objectively. By the way, the comment box is available in case you have any questions or suggestions about this post. We’ll be looking forward to them. 


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