When a girl complains about her boyfriend to you, it usually means a lot of things. It could be that she trusts you as a friend or she likes you and doesn’t want to say it.
It is normal for girls to talk about their boyfriends with someone they like and respects. But, it means something else when girls complain to a guy about their boyfriends.
If this happens to you as a girl, then it’s natural for your girlfriend to complain to you about her boyfriend. She trusts you and that is something rare among girls. Treasure that privilege and advise her accordingly.
But, this is mostly in regards to a girl complaining to a boy about her own boyfriend. Girls do this alot and you’re about to find out why.
Why Does She Always Complain About Her Boyfriend To You?
You Are Always Available
If she always complains about her boyfriend to you, it only shows that you are always giving her a listening ear on that subject. You have made your ears a dumping ground for complaints.
Come on! You can’t have her always bring up sad stories about her boyfriend if you have indicated that you are not interested in hearing that.
She has turned you to an emotional tampon where she can always come dump every trash about her boyfriend. Get better hearing with your ears dude!
Girls like attention and if she is not getting that from her boyfriend, you are only filling in the gap. And so, you will hear what the other guy is not doing well.
Have you tried shutting her up for once? Have you shown any disinterest whenever she tries to bring up any talk about her boyfriend? You are just too available.
When next she comes bearing evil tales of her boyfriend and you comfortably listen, just know that you are the one letting that happen and it will keep happening until you stop it.
She Trusts You
On the positive side, it is possible that she is sharing that with you because she trusts you. No girl will share something such as this unless she trusts the confidentiality of that information.
I am saying this out of experience. I personally do not share my pains or issues with people I do not trust. So, if I get to tell you about a loved one who hurt me, it means that I trust you with that information.
So, let’s not go all negative on this. First understand that she counts you as a trustworthy friend and she trusts that you will not divulge what she shares with you.
This is especially considerable if you are both good friends. This is also applicable to a girl telling another girl about her boyfriend’s misbehavior. That’s mostly out of trust in you.
You are then to weigh the situation if you are willing to be a faithful friend and keep her coming to give you more complaints of her boyfriend. It’s left to you.
This should also make you wary of whatever you choose to do about this situation. You wouldn’t want to betray her trust, will you?
She Likes You
This is probably the first thing you were expecting to see here. Yea, it’s actually possible that she’s complaining about her boyfriend to you because she likes you.
The truth is that most girls fall into this category. Except you are really good friends and the friendship is thoroughly defined, she is probably hitting on you.
A girl will not complain so much about her boyfriend to another guy unless she likes the guy, wants emotional support, or just wants to talk to a friend.
So, find out which category you belong to before taking any action. If you suspect that she likes you, you wouldn’t be comfortable being in the friend zone.
Her incessant complaints may be a way of telling you that she prefers you to her boyfriend. This is mostly true especially when she begins to compare you with her boyfriend. Watch out, she likes you.
While she is making the complaints, listen to the way she says it, what exactly she says. Even if you advise her to leave her boyfriend, she may not. Unless she is certain of who she is gonna be with when she leaves, and that’s probably you.
Emotional Support
Now, if a girl you haven’t been talking to just starts complaining to you about her boyfriend, it is likely that she is in need of emotional support at that moment.
And, all you have to do is give her that. Don’t expect anything from her at that moment. Just ensure that she leaves you better than she met you.
Also, she might be scared to stay alone. She is afraid of being alone and she doesn’t have any other person to be with at that time than you.
Some girls are just too clingy and so when they have any issue with their boyfriends, they still feel the need to be with someone else. And that might be you.
If you are willing to provide the emotional support that she needs often being in that relationship, then you should just provide your ears and shoulders for that.
At that moment, she doesn’t really care about you but herself. She might even be thinking of this same boyfriend on your shoulders. You’ve got to be ready for everything.
6 Things To Do When She Complains About Her Boyfriend To You
Let Her Know Your Boundaries If There’s Any
If you are not ready to be an emotional tampon for her and her boyfriend’s mishap, then let her know about that. Let her know that you do not appreciate her talking about her boyfriend to you.
Assure her of your support, friendship and how you will always be there for her, but let her know that you are not ready to always hear her complaints about her boyfriend.
Do this while telling her what to do about her boyfriend’s actions. If she doesn’t listen to you, don’t listen to her either. If she takes you as a friend and really trusts you, she will likely listen to you and seek further guidance on what to do.
If You Like Her Yourself, Come Clean
There is no gain in watching a girl you like always complaining about another boy who is not treating her right. Come out clean, tell her you like her!
You shouldn’t hesitate to say this if you realize that she is doing this because she likes you. She is probably good without her current boyfriend if she’s always had complaints about him.
She might reject you and this is a reality you must accept before you ask her out. Most times, when a guy does this, the friendship is altered and the girl refrains from the guy. That’s if she said No.
Reduce Your Availability
If always being there will make her always complain even when you’ve told her to stop, then you should reduce your availability. Let her know that you have better things to do in your life than sit and listen to complaints of a boyfriend she isn’t willing to leave.
You should know that her incessant complaints will rub off on you. When you keep listening to sad talks, you are likely to be sad yourself. So, take a break!
You should be motivated to do this the more if she has refused to leave her boyfriend when you’ve advised her to. She’s not willing to move on. Be less available.
Ask Her Why She Does That
To be really clear on what to do next, it is safer to ask her why she’s always complaining about her boyfriend to you. You are surely gonna get answers from her.
If she likes you, she may come out clean and tell you so. If she’s just distressed, she will tell you so and you will know what to do in that case.
You may not really know why she does that unless she tells you truthfully herself. So, instead of getting into conclusion on why she’s doing that and taking rash and unfair action, ask her first.
Don’t Encourage Her To Cheat On Her Boyfriend With You.
I am sure that there are guys who would want to do this. Don’t even think of sleeping with her in that instant. She is still in a relationship with her boyfriend and you have to respect that.
The sad thing is that she might come on to you, but you should keep your dignity and refuse her. You wouldn’t want another man to lay with your girlfriend, whatever the circumstances.
Whatever you choose to do with her incessant complaints of her boyfriend, don’t sleep with her. If you really care about her, encourage her to seek happiness by staying away from what makes her unhappy.
Do Anything, But Don’t Take Advantage Of Her.
Don’t make her regret coming to you. Don’t make her regret trusting you. You might decide to stop seeing her, that’s fine. But, don’t take advantage of her.
You wouldn’t like yourself if you did and she may not see you the same way as before. Your first reaction to her should be love and care. Let her know that she is safe to talk to you, not to sleep with you.
Be confidential with the information she shares with you. Unless you think she is in danger where you can share such information to keep her safe, don’t take advantage of her trust in you.
What To Consider Before Advising A Girl Who Complains About Her Boyfriend All The Time
Consider Your Own Feelings
Regardless of whether you like her or not, consider how you feel about the whole situation. Are you comfortable always having her complain to you?
With what you feel, will you advise her to endure through the relationship and have her come back to you with more complaints? Don’t forget that you are also sharing the effects of the complaints.
If you like her, do you enjoy seeing her complain and worry about a guy who doesn’t even care about her? What would you rather tell her? Be real, man!
Consider Her Happiness and Well Being
Aa a good friend, I am sure that you want to see your friend happy always. And, you will do anything in your power to make sure she is happy. Would you rather keep watching her being sad?
Her well being should be your priority. If she is not happy with that guy, tell her what she needs to do and help her through the process. This is not just about how you feel, this is about the mental health of both of you.
If she stays unhappy in that relationship, it will reflect on you. Because you will always have to find ways to make her happy whenever another man makes her sad.
Consider Your Friendship
If you tell her to leave the guy and date you, what if she doesn’t do that? Will your friendship with her still stand? This is if you value the friendship you both share.
Also have it in mind that you might lose your friendship with her if you advise her to do what she does not want to do. If you keep telling her to leave her boyfriend even when it’s obvious that that is what she should do, she may stop talking to you.
Conclusion
A girl will complain to you about her boyfriend when she likes you, needs attention, trusts you, needs emotional support or when you’re always available to hear her.
Her reasons for doing that will determine if it is a good thing or not. Find out why she does that and you will know what to do.
Note: to some girls, even if she knows that she’s supposed to leave that boy, she will remain in that relationship even when you tell her to leave.