There are a number of reasons why your boyfriend wants to go to a festival without you.
He might just want to chill out and have fun, or there’s also a probability that he’s planning to do some stuff that you might not like.
It could be that he is planning to cheat on you, or sometimes he might just want some time apart from the relationship (a healthy relationship does require time apart, once in a while).
It could even be that the problem is from you, maybe he doesn’t like some things you do when you go out together, or maybe you’re just being plain insecure.
Quarreling and arguing just because he refused to take you along might not be a good idea.
The most important thing is knowing the character of your partner. Is he trustable? Is your boyfriend the promiscuous type? Does he value you and the relationship?
Knowing the character of your boyfriend is what determines if there’s fire on the mountain, or if you can keep calm about it.
No man that values a relationship will throw it down the garbage can just over a festival.
If he really loves you and values the relationship, then it doesn’t matter if you’re there or not, he won’t do anything to jeopardize the relationship.
What You Should Do When Your Partner Is Going To A Festival Without You
Are you freaking out! He said he doesn’t want you to tag along, and you don’t know what to do, well, calm your nerves and do these;
Find Out Why
This is of utmost importance. Why doesn’t he want you to come along? Is it financial resistance? Try to find out why. The reasons could be something little, so throwing a tantrum right away isn’t advisable at all.
Instead, you could ask why, or check some signs to find out why he doesn’t want you to come with him to the festival. Is the problem from you? It could be that he just wants to hang out with the guys and they don’t want to bring their girlfriends around.
There are too many reasons for him wanting to not take you along. Don’t gamble and assume reasons, but study him and find out the true reason why, while trying not to look like you’re tracking him.
Don’t Start A Fight About It
Arguing isn’t the best option. You have to calm down and take it carefully step by step, remember, he is an independent adult. He has the right to go anywhere he wants, with or without you.
You don’t want to look too clingy, by arguing, besides, he might have a genuine reason, try to be understandable, but check out for red flags. Is there another lady that caught his attention lately?
That you’re not fighting, doesn’t mean you should relax yet. The chances of a foul play are fifty to fifty percent. Keep on studying the latest developments with him while still keeping it cool. Try not to be possessive and controlling.
Causing a fight won’t make him take you, in fact, it could make things worse.
Find A Good Time And Talk It Out
Either it’s you being insecure, or it’s him trying to cheat, whatever the case may be, have a good discussion about it. Communication is key in any relationship.
Bring up the subject when the mood is light and you guys are having some fun together. Some people find it hard to pour out their mind, but no matter what, have a reasonable discussion on it.
Let him know your concerns. You’re two grown adults, you should be able to have a smooth discussion without ending up quarreling.
You could easily find out the reason why he doesn’t want to go out with you at this stage. If it’s something trashable, trash it out immediately.
If the problem is from you, settle it, make up your mind to change if need be. Don’t give empty promises. If it’s something you can’t compromise on, speak up and give your solid reasons why you stand on that opinion.
Try and find a ground for compromise. Don’t be too rigid. Make sure you’re also trying to view things from his perspective, try to be understanding of his reasons.
Be truthful and transparent as much as you can during the discussion. Be open, don’t try to hide anything. A good relationship is built on truth. Lastly, make sure the discussion doesn’t end in an unhealthy argument.
Chill Out
If you’ve found out the reason and it’s nothing serious, like him going out with the guys, or him wanting some time apart. Then chill out. Have some fun yourself. In fact you could go to another festival. HAVE SOME FUN.
You could hang out somewhere yourself and send some pictures to him, so he also sees that you’re having fun. Make him miss you, make him wish he had taken you along.
You could try out some things you’ve been wanting to do, but didn’t have time for. You could get busy with some work.
I know sometimes we might get jealous and worried about issues like this, but if you’re absolutely sure that there’s no cause for alarm, then relax.
Give him a video call to see how he is, and how the festival is going, but not too often that you begin to pester him. Let him see that your life is not tied to him, sometimes a little time apart could make him realize how much you mean to him.
You could even plan your next outing during this time. Make sure you’re also having fun wherever you are. Show more affection than usual to him, but don’t be clingy.
Allow him to have fun even if you’re not there with him, if he cheats or does anything wrong sooner or later it will get to your ears.
Get pugnacious
This should be your last resort, and only if you find out something fishy or sneaky. You’ve done your research, if you find out and you’re absolutely sure that he’s planning something unpalatable, then you can get feisty.
In fact, at this stage, it won’t be bad to put a tab on him, just make sure you don’t get caught. You could suddenly turn up at the location without pre-informing him.
Don’t challenge him until you have rock hard proofs. You could even take some pictures. If you think you can’t handle it, you can even call it quit, but consider it twice before doing that.
There are times to be calm and gentle and there are times like this to be feisty and pugnacious. Don’t let him walk all over you and take the relationship for granted just like that.
If you find out he will be doing something bad, then it’s time to stick to your guns and take your stand. It’s either he doesn’t go, or he takes you along at this point.
Things To Consider Before Agreeing To His Request
His Character
You’ve been with him for a while, so you should have known him well enough. If he’s the cool, calm type that’s focused on the relationship and values you, then you have nothing much to worry about.
If on the contrary, you notice that he is a promiscuous type, he loves fleeting with ladies, is fond of being in the company of ladies and most especially popular among them, then think again before allowing him to go all by himself.
He might not actually be planning anything negative, but he might just fall into the traps of one of those ladies. He might just be moving the flow, and the flow might move him to bed with another lady.
Is He Trustworthy?
Trust is one of the backbones of a relationship, make sure you’re not the one being inconsiderate or insecure. If you do really trust him so much that you’re sure that nothing will go wrong behind your back, then you could let him go.
But, if you’re not too confident of his self control, or for one reason or the other, you can’t trust him on issues like this, then you should most definitely go with him.
In this area, knowing his personality and his trustworthiness is the key.
His Reasons
Why does he want to go alone? Like I’ve said earlier, there could be a number of reasonable reasons why he wants to go without you, if that’s the case, then you should give him his space and allow him.
But if you smell something fishy, you now have the moral grounds to stubbornly refuse. But, try and reason along with him, if you still find his explanation insufficient, then don’t let him go alone.
His Finances
One other thing you should consider, though you’re likely to overlook it, is his finances. Is he buoyant enough to take you along?
He might not want to say it, cause it’s hard for him to acknowledge his insufficiencies. But find out, that might just be the underlying reason for his excuses.
He could be thinking of the financial implication of taking you along, especially if you’re the shoppy type that loves spending. He wouldn’t want to take you with him and then be unable to buy whatever you might want for you.
His Friends
You should look into other little details like; where is he going and who is he going with, if he’s not going with you. There are just some places that he can’t go without you, and some people he shouldn’t go with while leaving you behind.
If you know him very well, you should know the kind of friends he keeps. There are those friends whose duty is to hook him up with hot ladies. Your boyfriend might not be a flirt, but if he has a very close friend that is a very good flirt, then beware.
They might be the ones to cook up things for him. Also beware of those friends that always encourage him to drink more, when he’s drunk he can do anything without thinking.
You can trust him, but you can’t trust his friends. Also, if he’s not going with you, is he going alone or is he going with someone else? If that someone else is a female, that isn’t his mum or sister, then it’s time to get sniffy.
Why should he go with someone other than you, if he can take a female along. In fact, if he’s going with someone else that is a female apart from you, that’s a danger sign.
Conclusion
Being jealous and worried about him going without you, is absolutely normal, it only shows you love him and care about the relationship. But you have to be careful of the steps you take, so you don’t end up making matters worse.
Taking drastic steps without thoroughly considering the repercussions could be dangerous. Remember that each action you take, either build your relationship or breaks it.
You should know when to take it soft, easy, and gentle on him, and when to turn on the aggressive mood. Being gentle when you’re supposed to be aggressive won’t help, and being aggressive at the wrong time is destructive.
Take the right steps at the right time. Make your personal findings and don’t jump to conclusions. Aggression should be your last option. Be wise in your dealing and try to be reasonable in whatever decision you eventually make.
Always try to talk it out first. This is always your first line of action. Maturely have a discussion with him on whatever is bothering you. Don’t keep it all in and make assumptions.
Don’t act insecure, clingy or controlling, keep it calm. Eventually whatever he does at the festival will be known to you one way or the other. Show him affection and care.