When your boyfriend constantly questions everything you do, it can drive you nuts and this happens for many reasons.
He sees himself as more knowledgeable, the decision maker, your superior, and also he doesn’t trust your judgment.
Also, he may not have an idea he is judging your every move. If your boyfriend doubts you, it’s okay for feelings of insecurity to happen to you, it makes you feel you have poor decision-making skills.
If you feel like your boyfriend always questions your decisions, take a step back and evaluate why such a thing is happening.
You can explore reasons why he questions everything that you do and finds ways you can make It work.
10 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Questions Everything That You Do
Getting your decisions second-guessed by your boyfriend can be emotionally nerve-racking.
You feel pressured and incompetent in what you do. This article is going to help with that, here I am going to list and discuss the reasons why he acts this way. These reasons include;
- He Is an overthinker
- Your boyfriend thinks he has more knowledge than you
- Your boyfriend feels you can do better
- Your boyfriend sees himself as the leader in the relationship
- He wants to break you in the relationship
- Your boyfriend doesn’t trust you to make decisions
- You Have a History of Making Mistakes
- Your Boyfriend Questions You Test with Your Feelings
- Your Boyfriend Sees His Questioning as Normal Communication
- He Is Scared of Failure
1. He is an overthinker
If your boyfriend is an overthinker, then this is what you may have to deal with. Folks who have this challenge are prone to double and triple checking every decision they make and even others around them.
His reason for all these questions comes naturally to him and not because he has it against you. If this is the case with your boyfriend, then you need not worry, all you need to do is take the time to express this to him.
Making in understand the undue stress placed on you from his overthinking behavior is the first step. Then you have to make him understand to trust your decisions. Certain other things can also quell his anxiety.
Your boyfriend’s question about your every move is frustrating and you don’t deserve that stress. Find time to simplify how you both strategize for the future, separating tasks among the both of you to help with his overthinking.
2. Your boyfriend thinks he has more knowledge than you
It may come as a surprise but one reason your boyfriend would constantly question you is that he feels he has more understanding of things than you.
Check the subjects that lead to arguments. Are these fields or decisions he more adept at? Judging by schooling, experience, and lifestyle.
This conclusion may not be true and must have come from his personal opinions, family, friend, and trusted buddy’s opinions.
This is especially true if he has more education tertiary wise, there is a possibility that he holds academic knowledge in high esteem, therefore putting him ahead of you because of these academic qualifications.
Maybe you behave in a classical simple manner and he has an archaic belief that such homely mannerism cannot make a proper decision. He then questions your every move because of such thoughts on his part.
This line of thinking Is not true. Your lack of academic qualifications doesn’t put you at any disadvantage in relationship building or living together.
A good partner needs to have good time management skills, tenacity, conscientiousness, diligence, problem-solving skills, planning and money management skills, and dynamic intelligence.
If your boyfriend feels you are not up to par because of his beliefs, you must point out to him your many contributions to the relationship.
You should take some tasks you usually do and allow him to attempt doing them, where he will see how important you are.
3. Your boyfriend feels you can do better
Your boyfriend may question everything you do because he wants you to do better. He feels you are not doing enough in making some proper decisions so he questions you often. These questions from him show you need to improve your decision-making skills.
Any boyfriend who is interested in having a good relationship with you will invest in your personal growth. His questions are training to have you improve and make better decisions.
If you take a critical look and discover his pattern of questioning, you will see where space lies for improvement.
Use this time to see if you need to improve and how you can do this. From there you will know what healthy relationships are built on compromise and willingness to change for the better.
Though his frequent doubting of your decisions would not be pleasing to you at first, a different perspective should shed light on other reasons.
In addition, you should also be sure you are not being gaslighted into believing that all your decisions are bad. You are your person and should be given freedom.
4. Your boyfriend sees himself as a leader in the relationship
In your relationship, who is the major decision maker? If it’s your boyfriend, then chances are that he views himself as the sole decision maker.
This leading position is a commonly assumed role almost all men play in a relationship, this will be why he constantly questions your decisions.
To help combat feeling anxious about this questioning from him, you can change the narrative by reminding him you are his partner. He can lead why you also partner with him to help fulfill your duties in the relationship.
No one person can control the affairs in the relationship. By clearly emphasizing this point to him, he will see how valuable you have become.
If your boyfriend sees from your perspective, and what you bring into the relationship he will start trusting your decisions making skills.
Your responsibilities would be done easily without you feeling anxious about them. He will mind his duties and will be disciplined about his duties in the relationship.
5. He wants to break you in the relationship
Sometimes you face a situation where your boyfriend is an overbearing person. He will constantly grill your decisions, not bothering about whether you are right or wrong.
He doesn’t simply because he wants you to doubt yourself in making decisions.
If your boyfriend does this to you, he is playing a game where he wants to always be the sole decision maker in your relationship.
If he keeps you from deciding, then he alone pilots your affairs, which may not be so great for you.
Consider your stance in the relationship, and what you hope to achieve, and make your voice heard.
Discussions between both of you and his inability to allow you to make your decisions.
He should know a relationship is not a prison and your voice matters.
When you are prevented from making your own decisions, you are left handicapped and lack the proper motivation to grow.
Instead of your boyfriend keeping deciding for you, he should listen to what you are saying and give you a chance to ask your question in a safe space.
6. Your boyfriend doesn’t trust you to make decisions
One good reason for your boyfriend to constantly question what you do is because he has little trust in your judgment.
Some men are sticking to old ways and believe that women cannot make decisions for themselves or a relationship.
This reason is an old belief that women do not possess equal intellect as men, and therefore cannot be trusted to handle decisions on their own.
Also, maybe your boyfriend is quick to highlight times when you made poor decisions and focuses on this point to restrict you.
This kind of reasoning from him will always lead to him questioning everything you do, which also limits your happiness in your relationship.
You can change this narrative by letting him know he can trust you to make your own decisions.
Try him by properly accomplishing tasks he would have otherwise questioned you, with this, he will trust your decisions.
7. You have a history of making mistakes
Check out and analyze your past with your boyfriend, perhaps there has been a time when you made a mistake in deciding something that turned bad. This is personal for a guy who has issues letting go of the past.
He still uses the mistake you made before, to haunt you and prevent you from deciding without his approval.
This would severely impede your self-confidence and make you susceptible to making more mistakes in the future.
Let your boyfriend understand that you have moved on from making poor decisions, and he needs to allow you to decide some things for yourself.
By questioning constantly, he weakens you from making choices that are beneficial to both of you.
Making mistakes cannot be ruled out in life. We should learn from our mistakes, but when your boyfriend frequently doubts you, it will yield nothing positive.
You should also gain trust in him by making better choices for both of you.
8. Your boyfriend questions you to test your feelings
If your boyfriend questions everything you do, despite you not seeing any obvious problem, he is playing the devil’s advocate with you.
His upbringing may warrant him to constantly ask your questions to expand your thought process.
Critical thinking is a good skill that can apply to all fields of life, and by questioning yourself, you become adept at this.
Going through this may not sound fun, especially if you are not aware of the reason he is doing this.
You realize that his questioning would be lessened over time as he sees improvement in your decisions and trusts you more.
Your boyfriend may do this from a good place, but it can damage your self-esteem.
To prevent this, tell him how much this behavior affects you while telling him to offer more support in allowing you to improve your decision-making skills.
If you trust yourself, you won’t second guess anything you are doing.
This would not just happen overnight, patience and being deliberate in your choices would go a long way to help.
9. Your boyfriend sees his questioning as normal communication
Your boyfriend questions everything you do because he honestly thinks he is communicating properly with you.
These questions are not a problem from his perspective and it’s how he normally communicates.
He feels he is conveying how he feels, ensuring you see his point of view instead of him forcing his opinions down your throat.
If he has this kind of thinking, it will be difficult for you to change his mind, this is because he takes this as a normal conversation.
Though your boyfriend may use this questioning habit regularly in conversations, it will negatively affect you.
It is good for both of you if you take time to express your feelings to him and work on a process that would involve him not always questioning everything you do.
Let him understand that by questioning everything you do, you lose important decision-making skills and always feel inferior.
Armed with the knowledge your boyfriend is going to change how both of you communicate, completely expressing himself without infringing on your perspective.
10. He is scared of failure
A guy who has a constant fear of failing would question everything you do because he wants to always be right.
This is a toxic trait if left unchecked. Let him understand mistakes are part of life and constantly attacking you with questions is not the best way to succeed.
Conclusion
Your boyfriend frequently questioning everything you do is a problem that needs fixing in a relationship.
He will make you doubt yourself in making proper decisions for yourself. It is a harmful way to live and no one should be subjected to such treatment.
If you take your relationship seriously, then you should work with your boyfriend to correct such behavior.
Let him understand relationships are better when both of you truly express how you feel and join hands together to make better decisions for you both.
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