The cringe.
The absolute cringe, when you realize that your girlfriend has just wet the bed, and you have to do something about it. You could start with having open communication with her even if you feel upset or frustrated.
It is easy to feel confused on how to handle the situation. However, there’s a way to navigate around the situation using a little understanding and compassion. This way you won’t create a dent in your relationship.
According to one study, nearly five million adults in the United States alone suffer from adult bedwetting, which is known as sleep enuresis.
So when you find out that your girlfriend wets the bed, especially when it hasn’t occurred before, it would help to show compassion and sensitivity. Then, encourage her to consult a doctor to rule out traces of illness, and then help her create a nighttime routine.
Other effective things to consider in such a situation are using waterproof mattress covers and bed sheets, offering to help with cleaning and laundry, getting couples therapy on the suspected causes of the issue, and also exercising patience with her.
In this article, I’m going to share with you 13 helpful things you can do as a boyfriend when you figure out that your girlfriend wets the bed. I have gathered these tips after talking with five different couples who have dealt with the same issue and are now out of it and thrive.
13 Things To Do When Girlfriend Wets The Bed
1. Have an open conversation with her about it
Talking to her about this situation can be one of the most embarrassing things you’d have to do, but it is a leap towards progress from the situation. For both of you to be on the same page, there has to be open and honest communication.
Ask her about how she feels about the bedwetting and if she suspects any underlying health-related causes.
Also, the conversation should reflect your unwavering love and support to help her through the situation.
Here are the talking points I suggest:
You can say “Babe, I understand if you’re embarrassed about this, but I love you. You may see this as a big deal to you. I want you to know it’s not a big deal to me.”
Afterward, proceed to say something compassionate, such as, “Sheets are just things, and things can be replaced, but you are the woman I love, and this is all okay.”
2. Show compassion and sensitivity.
You must treat the conversation with sensitivity. Even if she does joke about it, don’t joke about it. Your communication with her will establish your compassion and sensitivity.
This is the point where you want to offer her emotional support and reassure her that she’s not alone.
Your girlfriend may feel ashamed now that you know about it, and she may even fear what others would think if they knew about it, but your expressed compassion and thoughtfulness will go a long way toward reassuring her that you are ready to navigate with her out of the situation.
3. Encourage her to see a doctor
As mentioned earlier, many cases of bedwetting have been linked to symptoms of underlying medical conditions. So one of the most important things to do when this happens is to urge her to see a healthcare professional to rule out any underlying illness.
It may be that she’s aware of a possible internal illness, and things will begin to unfold themselves as you both talk honestly about the situation.
The goal of doing this is to determine the possible cause of the bedwetting and get possible treatment options from the doctor.
In many cases, couples can cope with this embarrassing situation by simply seeking medical help.
4. Help your girlfriend create nighttime alarms.
Another helpful thing you should consider doing when you realize your girlfriend wets the bed is to help her create bedwetting routine alarms. This can go a long way toward helping her break the habit of bedwetting.
Also, help her to establish and stick with a predetermined bedtime routine and wake-up intervals of an alarm at night to visit the bathroom.
You would be surprised at how effective this is, pending the time you get medical recommendations. In addition to the alarms, carefully planned routines such as limiting fluid intake and going to the bathroom before going to bed can help her break the habit too.
This leads us to the next effective thing to do.
5. Encourage her to take fewer fluids before going to bed
You and she can both agree on a fluid intake guideline based on the open and honest conversation you will have with her, especially as nighttime approaches. Encourage her to take fewer fields before going to bed as a way to help her break the habit.
If possible, you can subscribe to the same routine to let her know she’s not alone in this. This can go a long way toward reducing the chances of bedwetting.
So resolve to always remind her to relieve herself of her bladder before bed.
6. Get waterproof sheets
Another thing you can do is purchase waterproof mattress covers and bed sheets. This will make it easier to clean up in the morning, whenever it happens. This will also reduce the embarrassment, even though you both are completely supportive.
Bed pads are designed to absorb moisture, so they will keep the bed dry and comfortable whenever this happens accidentally, pending the time that you get a medical solution for the situation.
7. Suggest to her that she uses incontinence briefs
If you want to take the maintenance to the next level, you can get her an incontinence brief. This specially designed underwear will keep the moisture off the bed.
The whole point of getting these things is that they will keep the bed clean and hygienic so that, as much as accidental bedwetting happens, there will not be much embarrassment. Also, using these solutions will bring a sense of peace and security to the minds of you and your partner.
The extra layer of protection keeps the moisture from making the bed uncomfortably humid for you both.
It also rules out the need to always get a bed change and laundry done whenever it happens. So if you want to save time and energy while helping her get through the situation, this is one of the best things you can do.
8. Help her manage her stress and anxiety
Bedwetting as an adult is already embarrassing enough, and the last thing you want to do is make matters more awkward than they already are. When you figure out that your girlfriend wets the bed, after taking all the preceding steps, resolve to help her manage her stress and anxiety.
Yes, Anxiety.
Knowing that you are aware of her situation, she can begin to get another idea of how you feel about her.
But with verbal affirmations and small gestures of support and compassion, you can help her manage the stress and anxiety that comes with dealing with bedwetting as an adult.
9. Don’t tell others about it
So there is so much noise about what you can do when you figure your girlfriend wets the bed. But there’s little attention on what you should NOT do—ironically, the latter is the most important aspect.
Except that you are consulting a professional therapist that will help you both deal with the situation, I advise that you not tell people about this problem. There will always be friends who will want to tease you about it (even if they mean well), and it could lead to an awful position.
Bedwetting is a very personal thing, and once you find out about it, the focus should be on seeking a solution and not telling others.
10. Offer to help with the cleaning and laundry
Offering to help with the cleaning and laundry whenever this happens is one of the best things you can do to show your support, compassion, and understanding for her. But more importantly, it also doubles as a defense system against germs and bacteria to keep things clean and hygienic.
When you offer to help wash the bedding and clothing, you help keep the room fresh and make it easier to spot any accidents. It is a small gesture that will leave a positive mark on your partner’s emotional health.
It will make her feel comfortable, open, transparent, and less self-conscious about her bedwetting.
11. Don’t criticize or shame her
We must reiterate the sensitivities attached to bedwetting, especially when it happens to an adult or someone as close as your partner.
Since it can be an embarrassing issue for anyone, you must be understanding and supportive.
So one of the best things to NOT do is to avoid being judgmental, critical, or difficult. It will only worsen the situation and jeopardize efforts made by either party to seek a solution.
This is not a joking matter because she may eventually begin to feel insecure and ashamed every night in the privacy of her own home (if you both stay together)
So, it is vital to be understanding of her embarrassment and sensitive to these feelings. To achieve this, you want to take the steps listed above to make her feel more comfortable and secure.
12. Consider getting couples therapy
Getting her into couples therapy has the potential to unveil any issues that might be the reason for her bedwetting.
Generally, couples counseling focuses on improving relationship satisfaction and conflict resolution between couples.
So even if the situation hasn’t aggravated into a thing of conflict between you, it is better to resolve it early.
Have an open conversation with her about going on therapy concerning the issue and deciding whether you will both be comfortable with in-person or online sessions.
These exercises can help you build a healthy relationship and solve any possible issues such as this one.
13. Give it time
Lastly, and most importantly, be patient with her.
Even when you both agree on routine changes, medical treatments, and therapeutic recommendations, it may still take time and effort for the bedwetting to eventually stop.
As you exercise your patience, try to remind yourself that the bedwetting issue is not a representation of your girlfriend’s character.
Even so, it wouldn’t be her fault if it all traced back to an underlying illness or biological composition.
So another important thing to do when you figure out your girlfriend wets the bed is to be supportive and encouraging until it becomes a thing of the past.
In a nutshell
Bedwetting is not a strange issue, and it can happen to adults. If your girlfriend is bedwetting, a little understanding, and support can help you both navigate out of the awkward situation.
You want to first encourage her to speak with a healthcare professional to pinpoint any underlying causes of the issue and possible treatment options.
In the meantime, you can consider engaging in any of the 15 tips shared in the above article.
As I finish, we should also talk about how this can be a matter of intentionality. For example, I’ve heard of cases where ladies intentionally enjoy the kinky thrill of bedwetting while awake or set themselves up to do it while asleep.
If in your case, it was done intentionally, you can have an open conversation about it. You may accept it and insist that you both waterproof the bed for easy cleanup, or you may not like the idea at all.
Whatever the case may be, communication is key.