Persistent vs Pushy Dating: Which Is Better?

The major difference between persistent and pushy dating is that pushy dating is when you have this constant urge to control your partner all the time.

Pusy dating is also when you feel the need to always be in charge of what your partner does in a relationship while persistent dating is when the other partner is not giving up on the other in the relationship.

Those in pushy relationships tend to not enjoy it at all, and this is because if you are in a relationship where your partner always wants to be in control of everything that goes on, the relationship could get toxic or physically abusive because if your partner does not get the control he constantly seeks, he could get violent.

However, persistent dating is quite different, when the person is persistent while dating, he does not give up when any difficulty is faced.

What Does It Mean To Be Persistent In A Dating/Relationship?

To be persistent in a dating/relationship is when you choose not to give up on the other even in times of problems or misunderstanding. This comes with a high level of determination and willpower to go on.

Persistence is a virtue, and it could be very handy in many relationships, you know two people are never alike in everything, and there surely would be some differences and contrasting ideologies, therefore there is a need for one to be persistent.

Here are some pros of Persistent Dating

  1. Persistence would help you avoid making hasty decisions that could ruin your relationship.
  2. Persistence pushes you to become aware of your own weaknesses and work on them to further better your relationship.
  3. By being persistent you’d set a good example, and it would show your partner that you really cherish the relationship and you’re willing to make it work for good, which in return might propel your partner to return the same energy and work towards making the relationship solid.
  4. Being persistent in a relationship would help you understand your partner better and know what he/she likes or dislikes, it would help you to be more tolerant and understanding as no one is perfect, which would reduce the rate at which you have misunderstandings and quarrels.

Con of Persistent Dating

When they notice you’re so persistent and tolerant regardless of their ill manners and attitude, they might tend to continue with it without changing, as they feel you’re too understanding and tolerant.

Therefore, it is paramount that you know where to draw the line when it comes to being persistent, know when to let go when to say enough is enough, and move on.

  • You end up ignoring so many red flags

When you’re being persistent, you tend to ignore many red flags your partner must have exhibited, which might eventually hunt you later in the future and you’d live to regret it.

So while being persistent, make sure to watch out for red flags and know where to draw the line as soon as possible. It’s very bad to ignore red flags early in a relationship, in order not to end up regretting afterward.

What Does It Mean To Be Pushy In A Relationship?

Being pushy in a relationship means that you want to be in charge and you always want to control how the relationship works without minding how your partner feels about it.

This often leads to a toxic relationship and the two end up splitting. It’s very rare to see someone enjoy being with a partner that is pushy.

A pushy partner wants to be in control, he/she could be a pest and is definitely a toxic individual, they care more about themselves than you or the relationship, and as long as they’re good and alright, it won’t bother them much.

Some cons of being pushy in a relationship;

  1. You end up not understanding your partner better because you’re always in charge and hardly seek their own opinions
  2. It most likely would lead to a toxic relationship.
  3. There won’t be a free flow of communication, every good relationship needs constant and effective communication, and if one is pushy it would definitely hamper the flow of communication between the two.
  4. It could lead to violence, that is one of the partners resorting to physical abuse if his own opinions are not followed.

How To Tell If Someone Is Pushy Or Not?

  • If he/she constantly pressures you into making commitments
  • When he/she is too quick to respond
  • Never cares to ask questions
  • Not giving you some privacy
  • Making most or all of the decisions
  • Offering unsolicited advice
  • Not accepting “NO” for an answer
  • Plans everything alone by themselves

If he/she constantly pressures you into making commitments

This is when your partner keeps bugging you into making certain commitments, for example, to go out on a date or to go see a movie at a particular place and time, without caring to know how you feel about it, your schedule, and if you’re okay with the location and time.

When he/she is too quick to respond

In a relationship, especially when it’s new, there’s this euphoria of excitement which could be normal, but it would be abnormal when a partner gets so excited to the point he/she cuts you off and doesn’t give you a chance to finish whatever you’re saying.

It could be while chatting when you’ve sent one text and you’re still typing, but the other has sent about three or multiple messages already, this is not thoughtful and considerate at all, and it is one of the ways you tell if one is being pushy.

Never cares to ask questions

If one is being pushy he/she doesn’t really interact with the other, and won’t ask questions to know if you’re alright or what’s good with you, it clearly shows a lack of care and respect for the other

Not giving you some privacy

Yes, while dating or in a relationship, some partners might tend to be clingy and all, but it’s extreme if he/she doesn’t allow you some amount of privacy.

It’s important for one to have some private time for self-development and personal meditation and to carry out some other personal duties.

If your partner is always all over you and doesn’t respect boundaries then he/she is being pushy.

Making most or all of the decisions

This is when one always wants to be in charge, always wants to make the final say, and doesn’t care to know the other’s opinion. This is very bad and doesn’t speak well in a relationship.

Offering unsolicited advice

This is when one offers advice without caring to know if it goes down well with you, or if you’re being receptive to the idea or advice shared.

A pushy person would offer advice even on matters they have little or no grip on.

Not accepting “NO” for an answer

When one is pushy he/she won’t want to accept a no from you, they want whatever they say to be bounding and accepted by you, and they give no heed to your own reservations and thoughts.

They feel they know all and their own suggestions are the best.

Plans everything alone by themselves

This is when one goes overboard with planning and preparations all by themselves without seeking your own advice or contribution.

It could be that you both planned to go on a vacation/holiday trip, and they go about planning it all by themselves.

Does Persistence Work In Dating?

It works if you are channeling the persistent energy to a positive outcome. If you’re being persistent then you should be for the right reasons.

So many people have shared their experiences of when they were persistent and it ended up paying off, while others regretted letting go so easily.

I’ve once been persistent and it paid off for some time till I decided to let go. You might be in a relationship with one who isn’t on the same wavelength as you mentally and emotionally, so you ought to be able to tolerate and stay put in times of misunderstanding and problems.

Persistence works in a relationship as it helps you to better understand your partner and accept him/her for who they are, regardless of their little shortcomings or flaws.

No relationship is perfect, and if you want a healthy relationship and one that would last, you should be persistent

Why I say no is because persistence might not work in all cases, in as much as you’re being persistent, you should as well know when to call it quits, in order not to be taken for granted.

Being persistent won’t guarantee that your relationship will go fine.

Is It Better to Be Determined Or Persistent?

Determination and persistence sort of work hand in hand, and you can’t be persistent if you have no determination to do that.

Persistence in a relationship comes with the will, desire, and determination to endure and tolerate whatever may come up, no matter the obstacles you might face, the determination keeps you going.

Should Someone Be Persistent Or Pushy?

Being persistent or pushy depends on the individual and also the relationship he/she finds themselves in. Some relationships might require you to be persistent, and another would demand that you be pushy.

For instance, if you have a partner that is toxic or always bringing about issues in the relationship, it requires that you be persistent for a while if you’re willing to make it work.

You can as well be pushy on the other hand if your partner is more like an introvert or a shy type, and doesn’t take control of situations, it demands that you be pushy in order to make the relationship work.

It would be very difficult if you’re both shy and no one is ready to step up and make decisions when needed.

So whichever works for you, so long your relationship is going fine and smooth, then carry on with it.

With all said above, I feel the best bet in a relationship should be for one to be persistent

Persistence is key, it’s a good virtue that everyone who wishes to attain success should possess.

In whatever we do in life, whatever we set our minds to do, if we’re not persistent to ensure that we get it, we would fail, same goes with a relationship, you should be persistent rather than be pushy, for being pushy would take you nowhere but would only lead to more problems and misunderstanding.

If you’re persistent, you’d see that with time things would begin to work out well for you and your partner

Final Words

Whichever one you choose to do is up to you and the type of person you are in a relationship with. However, it is best you choose the one that is most healthy for you, that way, neither you nor your partner will be hurt.

If you feel that your partner is being too pushy and you do not like it, you can simply communicate to him that he is being too pushy and it is affecting how you both relate in your relationship.

I would rather be persistent in a relationship than be pushy. Being too pushy can make your partner see you as someone that is too bossy and always wants to be in control without caring about what your partner thinks or feels.

If you are persistent, you tend to make things work when it seems hard, in difficult times you still hold on because you are a persistent person and you are hell-bent on making things work well in your relationship.

Because of this your relationship will thrive. A pushy person, on the other hand, can make the relationship look tiring and one-sided.

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