Muslims are not allowed to have girlfriends or boyfriends to cut out the possibility of the wrong level of intimacy. You can minimize or completely slash out the possibility of an occurrence when you create no ground for it to happen in the first place.
Having a boyfriend or a girlfriend puts two young people with sound exuberance in a compromising position, and this raises their susceptibility to explore their fantasies. Especially if they are young teens.
You should know that Islam dignifies and protects women very highly, so these are the rules out in place to protect women from the flirting desires and whims of insincere men who are simply into lustful reasons.
In Islam, if a man says he desires a lady and wants something serious with her, there is a way to go as captured in the latter part of this article.
Here Are Other Reasons Muslims Do Not Have Boyfriends And Girlfriends
Some of the reasons Muslims do not have boyfriends and girlfriends include:
- To promote moral practices
- To protect women
- To scare off scoundrels
1. To promote moral practices
Get this, Muslim faithful are asked not to have a premarital romantic relationship, not because this is exactly captured in the Muslim holy book (the holy Qur’an), but because it is in line with the Sunnah.
The Sunnah is the words(Hadith), practices (Al filiyya), and the traditions (taqririyya) of the revered Islamic prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam).
Because the prophet’s lifestyle is the metric system used as a guide for every Muslim to follow. And because the girlfriend thing is not captured in that picture, it is not deemed morally sound enough to do.
The Muslims believe that sanctity should be prioritized at all safe costs. And refraining from close premarital romantic relationships is one way to go, because of course, how can they tell that these people involved in these relationships (if allowed) wouldn’t defy themselves in immoral acts?
Dating is not approved in Islam because it is traceable to the western world where true Islamic practices are comparatively lower compared to the Arabian community or the middle east at large.
In dating, you can’t deny the underlying romantic interaction.
2. To protect women
More often than not, when it comes to deceit in a premarital relationship, women are more prone and very much susceptible to being hurt, than men.
There’s hardly a case where a woman gets into a romantic relationship solely to satisfy lustful gains. But this is common with most rogue men.
A Muslim lady had tweeted this one time.
Plus, there is a psychological theory that proves women are more likely to get emotionally attached to a partner after a coital meeting, thereby putting them on a high probability of mental breakdown in the event that the man backs off in the long run after intimacy.
This is not quite so for most men because the circuitry of the male mind is not exactly wired to function that way.
So, it is more to the advantage of the mental health of women that they refrain from the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
If this must happen, then there is an Islamic way to go about it, because of course, no man sees a lady he knows nothing about and marries her straight away.
3. To scare off scoundrels
Dating is pretty casual to many people. Often, people get in and out of it – scoundrels inclusive. Marriage on the other hand is too serious a thing to joke with.
Although there are many divorce cases. But these cases are insignificant compared to the percentage of relationship breakups. Whoever is going into marriage knows that they are going in for something serious.
This makes people with impure intentions back off when the dating stage is made strict. The dating pool, in religions where dating is permitted, had been a playground for people who are just in for some lustful desires.
Why the restrictions on having a boyfriend or girlfriend in Islam?
Islam is against the conventional kind of boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. The reason for this is that the Muslim faithful is supposed to practice a Halal lifestyle. Hahal simply translates to “allowed”. Things allowed in Islam.
Muslims are supposed to have a lifestyle that is captured by the halal principle. This goes down to their behavior, principles, their general interest in their lives, and the food they eat.
Having a boyfriend or girlfriend increases the probability of living a haram (sinful) life.
How do you get punished for having a girlfriend in Islam?
While having a girlfriend or boyfriend is frowned at in Islam, there is no actual punishment for simply having those.
Albeit, there is stipulated punishment for a man and a woman who engage in a coital act outside the marital umbrella, known as Zina in Islam.
In this case, the man is lashed 100 times with a cane while the woman is stoned to death, and is considered rajm. Other times, the woman gets severe flogging as well.
According to a Hadith (the words of the prophet Muhammad SAW), he mentioned that it is better for an iron nail to be driven through the head of a man than for a man to hold the hand of a woman that he is not married to.
This is how grave the offense of physical contact between two unmarried people of the opposite gender that are not related by blood.
Wrong intimacy and treason (the renouncement of Islam) are two of the strongest unforgivable sins in Islam.
Otherwise, in an Islamic state, it is unlawful to shed the blood of a fellow Muslim faithful when he or she faults. In Islam, these two aforementioned offenses have deep spiritual calamitous consequences. It is this reason that has made them unforgivable.
Get this right, love is not frowned upon or prohibited in Islam. Islamically, the right thing to do when a man sees a lady he likes is to first meet her parents, preferably her dad, and make his intentions known.
Then, he gets the pass to talk to her in her parent’s house if she’ll be interested in him. If she likes him too, then marriage ensues shortly.
But then, you may want to ask: what’s the right thing a Muslim man is supposed to do when he finds a Muslim lady he likes in a city where neither of her parents lives?
The halal thing (Islamically approved thing) to do here is to declare his honest intentions to her. But there is no room for both of them being romantically enclasped in each other and seen in compromising positions.
Romance In Islam Before Marriage – How Does It Happen Then?
Romance simply translates to a close love relationship between two people. So when a Muslim lady and a guy are in love and have a feeling of affection, there is a romance between them.
Both parties can be romantically involved from a safe distance before they get married. Visitation only happens in the Lady’s parents’ house where there is no probability of committing haram.
Romance in Islam can be considered Haram or Halal depending on how the parties involved can contain their emotions.
In all, they should not be involved in what Allah doesn’t approve of. It is not a sin (Haram) in Islam if a man or woman develops a kind of affinity towards the next person of the opposite gender.
However, there are strict Islamic rules that serve as guides for all Islamic faithful to follow.
For example, Islam forbids the western kind of dating because it involves “indiscriminate” mixing and mingling, and physical testing of coital compatibility.
This goes ahead to show how dating varies between cultures and religions. But then, some young Muslims of the 21st century have taken quite a different approach.
They depend on their way, seeking to know a lady beyond the surface level through having close relationships with them before the picture of marriage surfaces.
Understand that dating itself among Muslims is not exactly a sin, the main reason it is considered an offense is because it serves as a ground for, and increases the probability of wrong intimacy.
If this closeness was allowed, things would have likely blown out of proportion where wrong intimacy would almost have become a norm as it would have been a common thing over time.
Can Muslims Lovers Have Close Romantic Relationships And Get Away With It?
Yes. Muslim lovers can have a close romantic relationship and get away with it. It depends on the country in which one practices the Islamic religion.
The level of strictness is different within regions. However, regardless of location, in any state where Sharia is the type of law practiced, then all Islamic rules must be obeyed.
But even in areas where these rules are a tad lenient, going the other way round as opposed to the halal way is still not Islamically approved.
These days, especially in countries of mixed religions, cowardice and hypocrisy are the order of the day where supposed practicing Muslims preach about these restraints during the daytime and practice the opposite at night.
But in a strict Muslim society, Muslim lovers can only have this close and possibly coital-inclusive relationship before their marriage if kept secret and far from the public’s eyes.
How To Get Into Romance In Islam And Get Away With It?
Halal romance can happen in the Islamic kind of dating. This is the true way you can date in Islam openly and get away with it.
Date with the intention of marriage
Regardless of gender, you must date with the intention of marriage, that is the only ground for dating, otherwise, you must have been nursing an evil intention to come into the Islamic dating pool for any reason aside from this.
Presence of a chaperone at meeting places
As Muslim faithful, there should be a third party at your meeting point at all times. Probably not seated too close to eavesdrop on your conversation. But this person’s presence would reduce your possibility of wanting to give in to Haram.
Meet only in public places
Meeting in public places serves the same purpose as having a chaperone, it is just to make sure that there is no enabling environment for temptations.
What if my boyfriend is Muslim and I am not – How do I handle this type of relationship?
The best way to handle a relationship with a Muslim man is to understand the haram and halal of Islam. This would give you a rich knowledge of Islam’s modus operandi so you do not trespass on things that you should not.
There is no problem if your boyfriend is a Muslim and you are not. As a non-muslim lady, you can get engaged and marry a Muslim man, however, a Muslim lady is not allowed to marry a non-muslim man.
The rules governing Islam allow inter-religious marriage between solely Muslim men and women from other Religions. The only possibility of a Muslim woman marrying a non-muslim man is if he converts to Islam.
However, a survey from the Pew research center mentioned in 2015 that 79% of married Muslims that live in the US are married to spouses of the same religion. This means the remaining 21% were involved in interfaith marriages.
While this is possible, it is not Islamically acceptable.
But then, as a non-muslim lady, be mentally prepared for a few challenges that you are likely to encounter while dating a Muslim man.
Know that a Muslim man is permitted to marry more than one wife. So do not be surprised to see another woman on a fine Friday morning coming to your matrimonial home as your husband’s wife.
Also, know that his religion does not allow his children to practice any religion aside from Islam.
As a non-muslim lady, Marrying a Muslim man had already put you in a state where you’re most likely to be the only one practicing your religion in that family.
Conclusion
Islam upholds morality with high regard and does everything to ensure that these values are always in place. This has gone to affect the lifestyle and general worldview of Muslim faithful.